I’m sure it’s not a case of not deserving! But I can relate to how you’re feeling at the moment. After abusive relationships we doubt ourselves so much. I always feel like I have to fight so hard to be heard and believed which is the last thing I need after never being heard with him.
It’s such a shame that they are keeping you hanging… It could be as simple as one person not doing their job properly or just being so so busy and having to do one thing at a time.. But not at all about who is more deserving that the next if you know what I mean.
You’re not at all a fraud. Please try and be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be validated in your own feelings xx