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    • #110310
      Confusedandanxious
      Participant

      Hi ladies,

      Not sure how to put this down, i have been regulary running during lockdown using Couch to 5k aand often run on a weekend morning. (detail removed by Moderator) i said that i was going to go for a run (detail removed by Moderator) before my partner goes to (detail removed by Moderator) at a friends (detail removed by Moderator) which has been planned for a couple of months. Anyway (detail removed by Moderator) i got up and said im going on my run and he got a bit funny as he wanted to have sex then when i was getting dressed he kept looking at me all moody. I was strong and still went although i felt incredibly guilty and said we can always do it when i get back, anyway whilst on my run he messaged me to say that one of the friends who was going to the same (detail removed by Moderator) had messaged him with news of a suicide of someone we know of but the friend knew well. I got back from my run and had a acry about the death and he did comfort me but then went into a massive mood and not talking to me, so i asked what was wrong and he said well i wanted to have sex and now youre not going to want to as yyou are upset, so i apologised! He then said he was also upset that (detail removed by Moderator) may be cancelled due tto the death so hes upset that he spent money on it for nothing (he is money obsessed). I just felt what a really horrible way to react when a poor family has lost someone in such a tragic way. Hes always got his own way by throwing a strop with his parents and now i feel im falling into the same trap as i cant bare the strops and bad moods.

    • #110313
      Eggshells
      Participant

      I’m so sorry that you’ve had sad news. It’s always a shock and very, very sad when something like this happens. I hope you’re ok. xx

      Your partners response isn’t really one I would expect from someone who has any empathy, or even any sympathy.

      It sounds like the response of someone who expects the world to revolve around him and when it doesn’t, he applies emotional pressure to try and get what he wants. It doesn’t really sound very healthy.

    • #110492
      Confusedandanxious
      Participant

      Thank you for your reply, i just needed some clarity that how it made me feel was ok i guess

    • #110538
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      This is totally selfish, self absorbed behaviour on his half, and typical abuser behaviour of a n**c with no empathy or compassion towards others. In a nutshell he’s reacting like “yeah, someone’s died, I want sex, get over it.”

      Many of us on here can share stories of how our abusers have reacted in a horrible and uncompassionate way when we have been bereaved. It’s as if their needs have been top trumped by someone dying, and now the focus has been shifted from them to our grief. They need to dismiss our grief and get the focus back on to them asap, and they don’t care how they do it.

      To question his behaviour is absolutely right. This is not how a decent, caring person would respond at all. It’s another bit of evidence to add to your list that your partner is an uncaring and selfish man who gives no thought to anyone but himself.

      Well done on the C25K by the way. I’m on week 8 🙂 Keep on running – away from your partner!

      • #110539
        Confusedandanxious
        Participant

        Thank you, he is very selfish and it is coming more and more apparent.

        Your comment did make me laugh, you keep going too, iv got one run left! Xx

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