Am I doing the right thing

[Cantmakedecisons]

he Doesn’t know yet but I hope by the weekend I will be leaving.. BUT I’m riddled with guilt! Guilt that I’m betraying him and being disloyal.

I’m viewing a property tomorrow and I hope that it’s as nice as it looks online. If it is, then I will pay the deposit and go ASAP.

I just spent the whole day yesterday crying and I’m a mess, so what am I going to be like when I actually do it. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to see me through this.

I’m trying to put logistics out my head and just keep going through the motions of physically getting me there whilst emotionally I’m a train wreck.

What if I’m doing the wrong thing. What if life will be worse. What if I’ve just broken my family for selfish reasons and what if I’m making a huge terrible mistake.

[Lottieblue]

The fact that you have got to where you are means that you are doing the right thing. Do you have a record of his behaviour? Go back over it, remind yourself of what has driven you. Well done!!
Of course you are crying, of course you are sad, you are mourning what you thought you had but that never was. Think forwards, think positive, think of a life without fear, where you are allowed to be you. Think of what you will be able to create for yourself and your family.
Stay strong, we’ve got you x*x

[Cantmakedecisons]

Lottiblue thanks for responding. I’ve never been on my own, he’s literally been my whole life since a young age and I don’t know anything else. I’ve never even paid a bill.

I’m just so scared that it’s all going to hit the fan! The kids, him, family etc

I do keep trying to focus on the negatives, the pain, the bruises, the hurt but that’s my pain and I can and have dealt with that. I think it’s because I’m now the one causing the mental pain that’s causing me so much trouble. I hate to be the cause.

[Hazydayz]

Why are you the one causing the mental pain? Do you mean to yourself? My advice to you is expect nothing to change if you stay and if you choose to go expect to feel things differently. It will be different but how is that a terrible mistake? It’s just about getting used to a different life, a quieter life! it will feel strange, be prepared for that but keep it in your mind what you would be feeling back where you were if you hadn’t made the break. Decisions in life are often difficult aren’t they…just choosing paint can be a big thing to decide about?, in case it’s wrong! It’s anxiety that’s what your feeling I think and that’s normal. Also, It’s making a decision you wish you didn’t have to make. Make the decision and know whatever happens it was a decision you had to make! Don’t feel guilty! Wishing you a happy future 💕

[Cantmakedecisons]

Thanks Hazydayz

I meant causing him pain – I know that sounds weird. I’m just use to being a people pleaser and this is a difficult thing for me to do.

I am going.. it’s just the ripple effect that scares me. Him, the kids and everyone that’s effected. I feel I’m being so selfish but I can’t keep doing what I’m doing or taking.

[Rubymurray]

Cantmakedecisions – Pm’d you lovely

[Hazydayz]

Hi again🙂 I understand. Your have a good heart, your not selfish. Bless you. Try telling yourself you did do your best for everyone, now it’s time to do your best for you too💞

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