This topic contains 10 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Aaaaga 2 months, 1 week ago.

  • Author
  • #66352

    I understand I should contact womens aid directly but everytime I think about doing so, i get a surge of anxiety.

    So all I’m after is your opinion please as it will in still some courage within me to take the next step.

    I have a (detail removed by moderator) and his father and I are no longer together although we visit for him to bond with baby.

    Currently I am living with my parents who have a very traditional mindset and my son is born out of wedlock. Everyday with my parents is torture, the emotional and mental abuse is unbearable for me and I want to go.

    Today I am at my son’s fathers home and due to go back tomorrow however my mother has called me and given me an ultimatum that I either break all contact with the father or I break contact with them.

    At this point I do not want to go back to that he’ll hole and the father does not want me here too.

    Will anyone help me? I want to run away somewhere away from these troubles altogether and start new. I need a roof over me. On these grounds, can I get into shelter?

  • #66353

    hello there well done for posting. I have just flagged this up to LIsa hope she will post a response soon. all best ftc

  • #66359
    Main Moderator

    Hi there,

    Welcome to the forum. I hope you find it a supportive place to be. Every refuge is run individually and they make decisions on whether they can accept someone into the refuge or not. Domestic abuse is abuse from a partner or family member and you have described the abuse from your parents. The National Domestic Violence Helpline can help you look for a refuge space, you can call them on 0808 2000 247.

    There is more information about refuge on the Women’s Aid website or you could contact your local domestic abuse service for support in the community.

    Take care and keep posting

    Best Wishes,


  • #66402

    Thank you so much. I found a space xx

    • #66417
      Main Moderator

      Hi mypalnoah,

      Thank you for letting us know, all the best on this next stage. Do post if you need any further support.

      Kind Regards,


  • #66421

    This is good news mypalnoah. Be safe, Love your baba, love the peace and quiet.xx

  • #87536

    I’m in a quite complicated situation and probably will need a refuge but can someone explain to me how it works with the rent?
    How to know if I’m entitled? And if I can pay? It’s quite urgent ☹️

    • #87570
      Main Moderator


      The helpline will help you to find a refuge and the refuge will sort out all the payments for your stay there so please don’t worry. The helpline will do a refuge search for you and put you in touch with refuges that have availability on the day that you go, the refuge will go through a risk assessment with you to check that it would be a safe area for you and that they can support you then following on from that they will help to sort out your benefits and housing benefit covers your refuge stay.

      I hope that helps you.

      Best wishes,

      Forum Moderator

  • #87538
     [email protected] 

    it depends on the area your in? i know its a small amout off rent if your offered a flat with wa xx and you get it for a year – have you called the helpline – id imagine refuge is free and they help you to get universal credit xx

  • #87539

    I believe refuges are free run by charities. They will then help you with finding a more long term safe place. Call women’s aid and ask for help with refuge x*x

  • #87820

    I and my daughter lived in refuge. We lived in community house(not shared with anyone). The rent was really high but all cover by housing benefits
    When I got there I had to sign contract. There was weekly rent (average price for a rent in area) and service charges (almost as high as rent) both covered by housing benefits, because I had to leave my job before moving there.
    I only had to pay £22 per week for gas and electric and reduced council tax. They helped me with applying for Universal Credit so had some money to live off

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