- This topic has 5 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 12 months ago by
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Its taken me alot to come to terms with this but…. I think im being abused. Ive been here before and on this site, a few years ago. Walked away from a physical abusive relationship, few months of building my life up again back to my normal confident self and boom ive Ended up in another relationship with what i think may be an abuser, i have a baby with this one đ Just like we all say, when hes nice hes really nice. Hes been violent in the past when hes drunk, iv had him arrested and courts etc, accepted his apologies and brought him back home. But recently he packed up and left us, took all his stuff and went. We’ve been in contact and seeing each other and taking things ‘slow’ but he keeps verbally absuing me! Hes refusing to pay towards his daughter, threatening to empty my house whilst im at work, and hes got keys! Hes making me think im crazy by retaliating, and i love him so much. But my anxiety is a mess!! I dont know whats right and wrong anymore! What i do know is today iv lost it, my heads gone. Iv blocked him on everything, im shaking as im typing this x
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Well done for taking step to get this man out your life. Physical abuse is so much easier to define and recognise as abuse. The emotional messing with our heads is beyond description. Heâs been convicted already. He has shown you his true colours, believe him. Get your locks changed. Google trauma bonding. That bond is stronger than love and much more dangerous and harder to break, love doesnât hurt us. You must be very traumatised which again means not thinking straight. Are you in touch with womenâs aid?
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Thats exactly whats happening, hes in my head!! When we fall out he disappears to womens house, and reappears in the morning with his sorry s, expecting me to believe hes not cheated on me. I pay for everything including his personal bills. And when i ask for money towards them i have to literally explain my every last penny.
I feel so down and useless and absolutely terrified that something bad is going to happen. He cant contact me now, iv blocked him but i will have to see him when he drops the little one off later, im petrified to see him.
I attended a DV group after the court proceedings, that seemed to help me alot but we got back together because he promised to change. I havent attended any womens aid groups yet but i will look into that, thank you.
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Can you get him to drop your little one at a third party for handover meantime? You do not need to see him. Use a family member for handover. He is not your responsibility. I know that anxiety feeling. Donât let him in your home. If he kicks off ring 999. If he asks why you didnât reply just lie to get rid of him. Itâs scary standing up to a bully. Womenâs aid are fantastic. Thereâs also free legal advice from Rights of Women online and via phone. Abusers are liars too. Donât believe a word he says x reach out for help.
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With it being so late baby will be asleep, so i dont really want to mess about but i can have family there when he drops her off. No he is not my responsibility your right, my mind is made up though, i dont want him back. I want to be me again, i lost myself somewhere in the relationship hes ground me down to a dithering mess. He will go straight to prison if he kicks off, but he wont do anyway coz my family will be there. Ive learnt not to believe him, he talks through his back side. x
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