29th August 2021 at 7:33 pm #130717KellymParticipant
Can someone please reassure me as I feel like I’m loosing my mind and doubting myself!
We had a really positive morning so decided to take the kids out for the afternoon something he always looks like he has a million other better things to octhan enjoy time with his kids!
Why we was out the kids wanted a little toy from a toy machine! He said no and so did I initially but then I found some change so went and got them their little bit of t*t tag out of the machine, they was absolutely chuffed! He then made a scene saying I had deliberately gone against him and think I am a much better parent and only my opinion matters. To me it wasn’t a big deal we said no then I found the change and thought oh nice let them get their toy it won’t hurt anyone! To me it wasn’t that deep to the point of him calling me manipulative and sneaky!
Then we got home and his been funny with me all evening, he then asked me to rub his feet to which I replied laughing no you’ve been off with me all day and now he has the ump again and has kicked me out from sitting in my own bedroom he said if I didn’t move myself then he would!
I feel so degraded and I’m starting to wonder if it’s me and I am actually starting these things!!!
I am very very close to breaking free and currently getting things in place but this emotional torture is unbearable please tell me I’m not going mad! X*x
29th August 2021 at 9:18 pm #130723WeemebreezeParticipant
Hey Kellym, you’re definitely 100% not going mad. Not at all. You’ve brought joy to the children, seeing their faces light up must have been lovely. This is your right as a parent to do that. The children deserve to be happy. He’s behaving like that because he’s weak and insecure and wants to call all the shots. Hes driven by power and control. It’s pathetic. The silent treatment, emotional abuse etc it’s exhausting and no way to live. You deserve so much better. It sounds like you’re on the right path. Trust your gut. Wishing you luck and sending strength. X
29th August 2021 at 10:30 pm #130729PloddingParticipant
No you definitely are not . This sounds like gaslighting . I have these moments which I have name “w*f” moments which leave me bewildered as it makes no sense . Reading this from someone else feels like it does make sense its about him wanting power and control as weembreeze has said
Take care xx
31st August 2021 at 11:12 pm #130820MimeParticipant
You’re not going mad… Trust yourself – you did a nice thing for your children, because you’re kind and a good mum – he used it to hurt you with. Then he wants you to rub his feet?? Eww…
4th September 2021 at 4:13 pm #131029KellymParticipant
It makes you feel like your going insane
(detail removed by Moderator) I have made plans with my friend and kids (detail removed by Moderator)
Next thing he’s text me saying his taking the night off work to spend time with me knowing I have plans! When I said it to him his made me feel bad for not wanting to b**w my friend out and spend it with him
Saying (detail removed by Moderator) I should be grateful he wants to spend the evening with me etc
Now his saying (detail removed by Moderator) his going out and doesn’t wanna spend time with me, honestly I don’t know what’s worse the physical or the mental abuse he’s got me feeling terrible for making a plan once in a blue moon, and insisting it’s not because he cares that I’m going out x
4th September 2021 at 4:58 pm #131031Put the kettle onParticipant
He’s purposely upsetting you so you either don’t go out or so you are so worried thinking about him and how he’ll react that if you do go out you won’t be able to enjoy yourself. My ex did this, it’s all part of isolating you.
11th September 2021 at 6:43 am #131321GazeboParticipant
Sounds so similar to my life – can I ask how your planning to get out? Really wish I could be strong and make the move I’m so unhappy xx
11th September 2021 at 8:02 am #131326RaelrgzParticipant
You had every right to buy the children a little toy. My ex used to do the same. He’d get annoyed if I wanted to get the kids treats sometimes. He’d also lie across the sofa and ask me to sit on another chair because his back hurt. It’s subtle, and not so subtle entitlement.
I hope you are ok. You are doing really well and the fact you’re on here questioning things, shows you’re recognising behaviours of his that aren’t right. It’s hard, when you’re in it, to not push things aside. It’s a foggy mess. I still struggle and I’ve been out for a while now. But even the post separation control/abuse is difficult to navigate, but not like it was when we lived together.
You’re on the right track. Have you heard of The Freedom Programme?
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