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    • #144138
      Mellow
      Participant

      So I’ve been back and forth emailing a support worker from past month and I’m having trouble processing things today I read back some of the messages I sent to her regarding the situation I’m in a lot of it I am saying things about the things he’s said like I don’t mean relationship over and he saying along the lines of him owning me .this could have been said jokingly but I could see how it looks to others.maybe I’m making excuses for him I don’t know but he would say you will always be mine and smile like a joke.I guess what I’m saying is I’m starting to disbelieve the things I’ve said in the messages like did that actually happen

    • #144157
      Anonymous2022
      Participant

      Hey Mellow, I don’t know much about your situation from what you’ve described and I’m not the best at recognising abuse (having lived for decades with my abuser before someone told me his behaviour was not OK) but I think if you have to question whether it’s abuse, it’s abuse. I don’t think people in healthy relationships ever, EVER, ask themselves that question.

      Have you read ‘Why does he do that?’ by Lundy Bancroft? You can get a free pdf online if you google it. I’ve been reading it and it’s really helpful to see what abuse looks like for different people, how to spot it, and how to understand it so we can start to heal.

      Wishing you love and kindness xx

    • #144162
      gettingtired
      Participant

      Mine makes ‘jokes’ like this and because it seems very genuinely to be a joke it’s difficult to make sense of it and believe he’s actually just joking and that it’s not really that sinister. It’s really difficult to get your head around their behaviour because they really are wired up differently. We can’t look to them for validation even though that’s exactly what we want to do x

    • #144163
      gettingtired
      Participant

      Mine has said and done some terrible things in the past and sometimes afterwards he’s denied it ever happened. Some are so bad and because I was so frozen at the time I have had trouble remembering if they really did happen. I think it’s the trauma of the situation that can affect your memory and make you doubt your own series of events x

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