4th May 2021 at 10:37 pm #125543
So I previously wrote below about having a child with my ex who’s been nothing but abusive.
It used to be black eyes and kicking me out of bed but then led to more controlling abuse during lock down.
With his cocaine and alcohol abuse. And the gambling.
Paying me no bill money or help towards any of the house bills.
Anyway I hate arguing with him it gives me anxiety, he said (detail removed by moderator) access to our son or he would take me to court
(Detail removed by moderator) I sent him an email and told him he could have him(detail removed by moderator) days a week abs then with confidence and moving forward he gets help then he can stay over night
Soon as I didn’t agree to staying over night he sent me this
(Detail removed by moderator)
Yet(detail removed by moderator) before he agreed that was fine il show you the previous reply (detail removed by moderator) before (he also went mad I was moving him (detail removed by moderator) to be be now nearer to me as I won’t be living over that way anymore )
(Detail removed by moderator)
So I replied just saying thanks for offering to help but it wouldn’t work (detail removed by moderator)
I feel like I have the worse anxiety I has to phone the doctors today and he said he’s prescribed me something to help me, Iv never taken anything before but he said it will help with me feeling so upset, I just feel like I keep crying and keep expecting stress off him or him to set out to hurt me.
Doctors also gave me a local number to speak to someone for help.
Am I really in the wrong, I feel like I could easily not let him see our son at all after what he did. (detail removed by moderator) he left he was hitting me with (detail removed by moderator) and off his face on drugs accusing me of having an affair.
I never got an apology or the fact I didn’t care about him and it’s all my fault he left as I didn’t show him I loved him enough.
Just feels like it’s such a mess
5th May 2021 at 12:26 am #125547
Sending more emails (detail removed by moderator)
5th May 2021 at 7:10 am #125548KIP.Participant
Please do not contact him again. He’s threatening you and abusing you. He’s warned you not to contact him and if you continue he could report you to the police for harrassment. Abusers become the victims to make us look and feel guilty. Make sure you are legally the resident parent so that he cannot keep your child and let him go to a solicitor but it sounds like a huge bluff to me. Keep those messages. You’ve been more than reasonable and he’s threatening you. I’d stop all contact already because of his behaviour. Contact your local women’s aid as soon as possible for support and advice. There’s is absolutely nothing you can to that will satisfy him because he will simply move the goal posts so cut him out the loop and do what’s best for you and your child and block his number and do not contact him again. He’s setting you up x
5th May 2021 at 7:40 am #125549EggshellsParticipant
The messages he has sent are extremely manipulative and the last one is tantamount to him admiting to his drug abuse – keep it!
Allowing him to look after your son unsupervised is dangerous. You cannot care fir a child when you are full of illegal drugs.
Cut all contact with him and let him take you to court if he dares. I doubt he’d want anyone knowing about his drug abuse and taking you to court will expose that.
Honestly, I would suggest you cut all unsupervised access to your son. If social services get involved and they find out you’ve been sending him to a drug abuser, they will take a very dim view.
Get in touch with your local dv charity and get some advice about local contact centres where he can see you son under supervised conditions.
5th May 2021 at 8:13 am #125551
Yeah that’s the worse thing because he’s the one who was messaging me so then when I replied he would say don’t contact me at the end of the message but then I couldn’t help myself.
He’s living with his mum and and she told me (detail removed by moderator) she’s monitoring his alcohol addiction but I don’t think she believes me how bad his drugs are or the alcohol as she said(detail removed by moderator) and that’s when I got abuse at (detail removed by moderator) so I knew he was drinking still.
He then went down on (detail removed by moderator) and was drinking (detail removed by moderator) as I for abuse (detail removed by moderator) as well.
I simply suggested that if his mums has our son (detail removed by moderator) anyway in the day whilst I’m working
He could have him up there one day (detail removed by moderator)
I wish I never suggested it but he was bullying me telling me he was taking me to court if I didn’t agree (detail removed by moderator) access! And I’m worried how I will prove his behaviour 🙁 what If they gave him access because of the home his mum lives in (detail removed by moderator). But then he won’t be living there forever
He needs professional help and when I said that in the email he said(detail removed by moderator).
I did miss him but I actually hate him I feel like no matter what I do he’s out to punish me.
5th May 2021 at 5:52 pm #125571EggshellsParticipant
Please don’t say any more to him either by email or in conversation. Don’t engage with him in any way. You will need to go through legal channels unfortunately. No matter how much you give, he’ll just keep pushing and pushing for more.
You need to get this settled officially so that he can’t make up his own rules.
It’s a bit tricky to work out why you are worried that they’ll take your son away because I can only see the edited version but I think it’s highly unlikely they’ll take him away from a good mother and give him to an addict.
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