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6th January 2019 at 8:21 pm #70169Anonymous
I hope I can get some advice here.
I am married and we have a good and happy marriage. However a few of his comments and indirect comments from his friends unsettle me.
On the day we got married he boldly and rather weirdly told me that his friends were concerned that he married me, I asked why they would be, to which he replied because of his anger, he has never once laid a hand on me, he admits he is an angry man but says he now avoids confrontation and walks away, instead of getting into fights and not backing down.
My husband sometimes makes hurtful comments about my appearance and passes it off as a joke, I tell him that his comments are hurtful to which I am told I am childish and should learn his jokes.
He will sometimes ask if my friends have text me and what they have said to me and what I have said to them, but he doesn’t stop me seeing friends.
We finally saved enough money to rent a place together, however our son’s school found out and now there is social service involvement because apart from my husband and his friends, we don’t know anyone in the new area. Social services class me as a vulnerable adult because I have a few disabilities, my husband even once said I was a vulnerable adult. In the area where we currently live social services arranged for a family support worker to visit us to do some work regarding keeping safe, for both me and our son, does this mean they think it is domestic abuse?
We want to be a family, but I am anxious if we move together to the new area, the new areas social services may highten the level of involvement. The only negative thing I have told them is he sometimes makes hurtful comments about my appearance but that I stand up for myself and tell him not to, they say it’s good that I do that but that I should think with my head and not my heart in this case.
When I reach out to my friends they don’t know what to suggest, I hardly see my family, there was abuse in my childhood so it puts me off wanting to see them knowing the hurt they caused me.
Has anyone else here had social services and family support worker’s involved and if so can you please offer advice about what may be best to do? They say they have no worries about my parenting, it’s just the lack of support network apart from my husband and his friends in the new area and how it may affect us.
My husband refuses to move to the area that I know the most because his friends are in the new area.
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