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I’m not sure if I’m overthinking/overreacting. I was with my ex husband (we’re still legally married though) for (timeframe removed by moderator) on & off. We met very young. The first time we split up we had been together about (timeframe removed by moderator). He suddenly stopped talking to me and I had no idea why. After a few months I found out it was because he wanted me to live his lifestyle of being at the gym all the time. We ended up getting back together and I joined the gym to make him happy. Fast forward a few years of on & off for multiple reasons, we finally get together for the final time. It was about (timeframe removed by moderator) in total for the last time. In those (timeframe removed by moderator) issues to do with how I lived my life and weight became an issue. He would regularly point out if he thought I looked fat or overweight. He would say that he hated that I weighed more than him, bearing in mind at my heaviest I was (detail removed by moderator). He would constantly measure how much food I was eating and if I had big portions he would comment about how it’s a lot of food. If I ended up buying unhealthy food, e.g. jam doughnut, he would go into a depressive state. He would claim he was going to commit suicide because he couldn’t deal with how I lived my life and he just wanted me to be healthy. Wanting to make him happy, I ended up joining the gym. I hated every moment and spent a lot of money doing something I hated. If I didn’t feel like going one day he would get depressive again. He used to point out my arms looking “fat”. I used to hide what I was eating from him. If I bought unhealthy food I would lie and say it’s for people at work. I’d then take it to work and eat it there. I ended up losing 11kg and it still wasn’t good enough for him. When we got married I made sure to pick a dress than covered my arms as I was worried about them. We ended up going to counselling and he just kept saying he didn’t want me to end up like some of my family members (they are overweight) and no matter what I did he can’t escape it. He tried to tell me what to eat, he would get sad and depressed if I didn’t eat what he wanted me to. I was so worried that he’d commit suicide that I just started to starve myself and when I did eat I ate very small portions. We were married (timeframe removed by moderator) before I said enough is enough. I feel ready to date again, but I’m so worried about what other men will think. My colleagues said what he’s done is emotional abuse, but I feel like that might be overreacting? I feel like there are situations that could have been much worse, so I don’t want to say it’s that when actually it’s not.
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no your not overthinking it is emotional abuse and being controlling in a way because you had to change for him to be happy and you should not change for who you are. but him saying he wanted to commit suicide that’s him being a n********t because it wanted to be about him then and then you had to feel sorry for him and then he would had got you there believe me ive been there.
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