am I too sensitive or is this a really nasty thing to say?

[miss-sunshine]

Hey there beautiful ladies. So (detail removed by Moderator) I left my partner and finally went back to the old room I was renting (detail removed by Moderator) years ago before we started a life together. It is so strange to come back and walk in the same footsteps that i did when I was exited about this amazing relationship and couldn’t wait to build our life together.

after (detail removed by Moderator) years of trying to please him, keep him satisfied and keep him feeling like the most important person in the world while i let all of my own needs slip. this morning my house mate closed a door a bit to loud and my whole body jumped as it remembers when it had to go into fight mode all those times that my partner lost his head and slammed doors and smashed the house while i hid in a room crying.

I know I should be going no contact but I’ve got a few business arrangements we are working on together and need to get them done first before I can cut him out completely. I really wanted us to stay friends but as the days go on I start to see that he doesn’t want to be my friend if he cant have me fully. I find this utterly heartbreaking because I did believe that he was still a decent person and would respect that I’ve had enough of all the pain and shouting.
But he said something to me (detail removed by Moderator) which I think is so disrespectful and I’d like to know what you think.
He started going on about how making love to me was the best thing ever and he’ll be ok if he just gets his balls chopped off. He kept subtly mentioning how hes trying to manage without having sex.
After everything he’s put me through, it made me very uncomfortable because surly he should have bigger concerns that his own sexual needs, like how much he ripped me to pieces over and over again. but it doesn’t seem to compute.

He thinks it is now his mission to convince me that our relationship was perfect and look douyly into my eyes. But I am a bit disgusted by the sleezy things he is saying about his poor lack of sex, when he has always portrayed himself as a sweet and shy guy.

it makes me wonder did i get him entirely wrong on all angles. was that nice guy act completely false to the core. And are comments like that his true colors, what he really thinks?, all I was ever good for? just as long as I keep his desires met he would be happy no matter how upset, hurt or mangled up I am inside.

I’d love to know your thoughts and this forum has been soooo helpful the second I started reading stories on here was the moment I started to pull myself together and end this torture. I’ll will be joining a local support group for domestic abuse and really hope that i can wash all of this toxic gunk out of me so I can feel like me again.

thank you so much for your support. It really is saving my life x*x

[KIP.]

Hi there. Sad to say but your comment about how wrong you got him is true. These men wear a mask to reel us in. Now you won’t play his game you’re seeing the real person behind that mask. Not once has he apologised or considered your feelings and desires. He’s not your friend and if you try to remain so he will use that to harm you further. My ex too mentioned sex when I told him our relationship was over and that about sums it up. It’s all about them and getting their needs met. There’s no bond from them and my advice is to cut your losses with the business connection. Go zero contact and block him on everything. Save yourself more pain. It will be hard short term but it’s so worth it.

[KIP.]

My ex used to insult me then hide behind the ‘you’re too sensitive’ comment. No your not too sensitive. Your gut is telling you this is all wrong. Trust your gut x

[Camel]

Hi Sunshine,

I know you’ve physically left him but you sound emotionally still invested. I don’t mean this as a criticism.

You say you should go no contact. You also say you hoped to stay friends. Are you secretly a little disappointed that he’s only missing the sex? Why let him to talk to you like that? It doesn’t matter whether you’re too sensitive or he’s really nasty. You know he’s trying to talk you back home and you’re listening to him. He’ll see this as being in with a good chance. If you want to end it for good you need to be much clearer.

[Author]

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