Am i wrong?

[Fairylady]

hi all,

So I’ve only messaged on here once before and I’m a little confused today. Recently my partner asked me to stay at my (detail removed by moderator) a few days a week to give him “space” this started because I got sent screenshots of messages he’d been trying another woman. I was very calm when I saw them and just asked, he said it wasn’t him and its a hack and said I was wrong for not just believing him, that i shouldn’t question him. My family recently have been trying to push me more and more to leave as they have been worried as they say he is manipulative and controlling, i have spoken to my mum about things that have happened in the past(he’s been physically abusive, not for along time though) its more name calling and belittling and telling me I have to do as he says, he doesnt like me talking to friends or family now as he thinks I will open my mouth and speak to them. Now,I have a little dog, had him before we got together, hes not a pet person at all, doesn’t like him. (Detail removed by moderator), my dog woke us up early needing to go out, he was furious, after a lot of talking he said that he would rather just have me with out the dog but said he doesnt want to get rid, then he threatened to kick my dog in the face because he woke him. After a lot of talking I found myself apologising to him rather than him apologising to me!
Why does that always happen!?

 

[KIP.]

You’re scared of the consequences so you do what you can to appease him and survive. Abusers are notorious for hurting pets, especially if they’re your pets and cause you anguish to see them hurt. It’s threatening behaviour, it’s like if he can hurt your pet then he can do the same to you. Intimidating you into compliance. Because you’ve caught him cheating, he’s turned the tables on you. Making you feel like it’s something you’ve done and taking the spotlight off his behaviour. Cheating is just another form of abuse for these men. Listen to those who care about you and get out of this abusive relationship as soon as you can do so safely. Tell him that’s fine and move out but don’t go back.

[KIP.]

The space he’s asking for could be a punishment for you because you questioned his behaviour, they do this so we don’t question them in future or it could be so he can see other women when you’re not there. Either way, it’s unacceptable behaviour x

[Author]

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