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So i posted the other day he has stopped being violent with me for a while. Possibly (detail removed by Moderator) weeks. I no it won’t last.
(detail removed by Moderator) he took my phone again. He works (detail removed by Moderator) and he has being doing this for a long while.
He stopped doing it for a while and he started again.(detail removed by Moderator) he had a go at me because of money. Saying that he hasnt bought anything for (detail removed by Moderator) months because he has to pay my credit card bills
Which he wanted to open up. I wasnt entirely thrilled about opening up as i know he is unable yo manage money. He doesn’t let me work so the bils have to be paid by him and he wont let me register for universal credit.I am pregnant and i have seen impact of domestic violence on children. My own mother was a survivor of domestic violence but still has contact with my father. He doesn’t want the Baby and i know this bababy wont have an easy life with my husband.
So why am i putting up with this abuse?
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Supersad,
This is so awful. It’s one thing living in fear of these monsters breaking things and shouting at you but to have to have physical attacks too with your children around must be petrifying.
You can’t carry on like this Supersad, you need to find a way out. Would you consider going to a refuge? You need a safe place for your baby to be because being around him isn’t safe. He could hurt your children. He could really hurt you or your unborn child while he’s attacking you.
Your putting up with it because it seems like you’re dependant on him, which is what he wants. Leaving him has got to be your first step then dealing with what’s happened will be second but you have to keep your children safe. No man is worth putting up with this for. Sending you big hugs x
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You need to break the cycle and teach your children that we respect women,the kids could be damaged by seeing physical violence. My abuser was raised in similar circumstances and now he’s grown up to abuse and control. What kind of man could hurt a pregnant women! It baffles me. Your children and yourself deserve much better. You should defo get out while you still can x
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Only you can answer this question. I think that would be a very good exercise, to write out the very long list of all the reasons why you love this man and all the things he does to honor, support, care for, encourage, make you feel safe, loved, etc…. It won’t be a long list, will it?
You have willpower, it’s just asleep right now. Time to wake it up and kick it out of bed. This won’t end well if you don’t employ your willpower to not allow this anymore. I don’t think you would be okay if something happened to that baby you’re carrying because of him, right? Not something I wish for you. Time to protect that child and yourself. Please reach out to WA. You can do that via chat, email, etc. Call DV and ask for a support worker that is dedicated to “you”. Journal everything and hide it well… But you have got to get away from him.
You are not his property, not his slave, not his dog to kick but you have to stop agreeing with him by your actions or inactions that you are. We teach people how to treat us. He will never treat you any differently and he won’t treat the next one any different either. It has nothing to do with “you” and everything to do with who he is. Take a good long look here. Do you want this to be your future and your child or children’s future? Please get help and legal advice here. The next time he gets violent please call the police. Whatever you need here, just ask. These women on here are awesome and have been through everything. They know the ropes. We are here to help you and support you, okay? Everything looks impossible when you are this point and crux in the road but living in this torment is impossible as well. We’ve just been conditioned by the abuse to accept as normal and it’s sooo not.
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Hi all
Thank you for kind messages.
I am struggling today so badly. I just want to get up and leave. He hurt me yesterday, nothing serious but its the fact he hit me. In the beginning when he used to hurt me i used to try and leave. He used to block the door and hurt me even more.
He keeps threatening to hurt me today so i keep telling him to do it. I really don’t care how much hhe hurts me. He always tells me he is going to huft my family, friends ex bfs and Rob them.
This my first child. He doesn’t want the child.
Tells me to get rid of the baby. I am about (detail removed by Moderator) months pregnant.Turtledove and Braelynn hope you are okay and not having bad days. Sending you lots of hugsxx
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Supersad please please get yourself away from this man. He is going to really hurt you hun, there’s so much help and support out there for you and your baby. He is taking away your basic human rights and that’s not okay. I feel so sad for you I really do. You shouldn’t be putting up with this. If you need to call the police then dial the number but dial in 555, the police will trace your address. Once the police have him, I don’t think he’ll be making anymore threats for a while. Hitting you, withholding money, taking your phone and depriving you of your personal hygiene is not okay. You have to get away. When your baby comes he could really hurt the baby. Please make some calls xx
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It’s up to you here, it really is. You can’t sit on the fence forever here. You are either going forward or you are going backwards. I wish I had had a mother who cared enough about me to rescue me from horrific abuse. I didn’t. Call the police, demand that you get taken care of and that you be put somewhere safe. As long as you stall, the more likely you will be hurt and/or your baby will be hurt. You came here, you have voiced your own concerns, so now follow through. None of us can help you if you don’t help yourself and all you have to do is make the call. The time when your house is on fire, is not the time to sit and chat. It’s the time to get out of the burning building before it consumes you and now it’s the two of you so do the right thing here for yourself and your baby. You will never ever change this man or his monster family, not going to happen. They are who they are and it was never ever about you or your fault so now you have to save yourselves. You have to make that happen.
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Hey Supersad
You need to get yourself out of there. He is withholding rights that you are entitled to. Why won’t he let you claim UC?
You really need to look after yourself and this baby, think about it rationally even if you stick it out until you’ve had the baby, he may seriously harm you or the baby.i don’t want to scare you but I think you need to think about this logically, things aren’t going to get any better once the baby is born as you will be giving your attention to him or her instead of him, if they re controlling you now then they will be controlling you when you have had the baby and trust me you will feel even more vulnerable then as you will want to defend that baby with your life. I’m sorry if I sound harsh I just want you to realise what it will be like. Please do the right thing and dial 999
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He isn’t just controlling you or making the odd threat, he’s being physically violent with you too and this is very worrying. Now he’s hit you once, he won’t ever stop until you make him stop by leaving. And he’s expressed that he doesn’t want your baby so that won’t change when he /she arrives. He’s putting you in a position where you could have your baby removed from you or worse. I’m a mum myself and I can promise you the love you will feel for that little person will be like nothing else you’ve ever felt. No man’s apparent love will ever compare. You have a chance now to get away and start a life for you and your little one, a right to have your own money and make your own choices to live a life of peace and happiness with your baby. X
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