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He hasn’t done this for a long time but I remember that during arguments he would cut a massive piece of x (food) and smother it with salt in front of our children’s eyes and eat it. The first time he did this I told him not to do such a thing and of course he ignored me but as this behaviour repeated itself, I started ignoring it. He did it so many times.
You have to be totally demented to do such a thing in front of your children…
He also empties alcoholic drinks, entire bottles down the sink. That’s his rage when alcohol is mentioned by me.
He bashes things a lot. He doesn’t care what he breaks.
He texts his children he wants to commit suicide.
He refuses to eat the food I cook and makes a point of pity begging the kids by eating crips and chocolate etc. I then appear like a bad wife and mother because I have stopped serving him a plate with the meals I make. Instead I tell him to help himself if he wants to eat. It’s so ridiculous to behave as he does.
I could go on like this describing very weird reactions that are so predictable…
I keep thinking about the day I am free and how peace will feel so alien I will have to get used to it again. How sad…but I have take further action to move forward with the divorce. And I have once again a DV lady helping me and I am changing my solicitor to one she recommended.
It’s the flashbacks of things I witness(ed) which keep waking me up at night. It annoys me. I lived with insanity for years.
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Hi Bridget,
Congrats on moving forward with your divorce. Mine used to do the same thing refusing to eat meals I cooked, he wanted me to cook what he chose, when he chose. If I’d made a shepherds pie or something he would turn his nose up and say ‘I can’t eat that’ as if it was something disgusting. I think he just didn’t like me being organised or assuming he’d eat something, do something. I think like yours he just liked to shock, be awkward and unpredictable, gain sympathy from anyone he could. They just like to make us look bad and feel bad, keep us off balance. They just keep changing the goalposts so that nothing we ever do is good enough or right. I write down the things I remember in my flashbacks. When I’m having wobbles wondering if it’s worth all the hassle etc I read what I’ve written and how I felt, why I’m doing this and just how bad things have become.
Keep strong and keep going. We will be free one day! -
Well done Bridget on taking action with the divorce. He’s loving the attention of yours and the children’s reactions as he behaves like a giant toddler. Remove his fuel by trying not to be in the same room as him in the house. You can’t control his behaviour but you can choose whether you want to be his audience. Let him empty his bottles down the sink, do whatever he wants with the food, moan, groan and give out all he likes but if you are in another room and make an effort to go left when he goes right, he can do and say what he likes but it won’t affect you.
Tweeze, file the nails, take a nap, come on here, do anything in another room away from him and his antics.
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