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    • #47499
      Ssss
      Participant

      Spoke to a friend who told me I had to go soon.. said it was getting to the point in which it would be too late to have my children’s blessing as they are being influence by his behaviour daily…. I am the crazy one.. I am the one who enforces any rules and structure to their lives… I tell them to wash when to go to bed that they Carnt eat junk food constantly… I’m always the baddy… my friend was really harsh with me…. I kno it was to give me home truths so I would leave… she asked me about my childhood… and I have never spoke about it in that way before…. I think facing some issues I have never faced before has scared the life out of me.. I kno she was doing it to push me to do see what was happening and what will happen if I stay…. but it has immobilised me…. I realise that I am lonely and scared of being on my own…. even though I have basically been on my own for years….I am too scared to leave…and I’m scared to face her… she wants to help me get rid off stuff and pack stuff to leave and it’s put me in a total panic… I wake up worried now… I feel as though I am well and truly attached to him tramua bonding and will never be able to leave… but I’m scared to face her as well…feel weak for my kids… and feel as though it’s all too much

    • #47500
      Janedoeissad
      Participant

      Ssss

      Don’t let anyone dictate your leaving date but YOU.

      Take one day at a time. Do one step at a time. Being pushed into doing something will always cause anxiety.

      You need time to process everything.

      It’s great that you’ve recognised things like trauma bonding. It shows progress. Be proud of how far you have come and keep on going at your own pace

      Big hugs

      J

    • #47507
      Eve1
      Participant

      I don’t think it always help when friends give their advice. If they haven’t been in this situation they can’t know exactly what it’s like. We feel judged.

      When you’re feeling up to it, could you ring the WA helpline? They won’t judge.

      Go at your own pace.

      Eve
      x

    • #47510
      Ssss
      Participant

      Thanks for reply.. I think my friend does understand bits….. but my own pace is stop…. that’s my problem… I just bury my head in the sand and egnore everything and hope it will all go away… this has been going on a long time and I do need some sort of helpful shove… but I just feel as I am pretty stuck and unable to try anymore…

    • #47514
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi Ssss, i was frozen just like you. I found the strength through reporting him to the police, getting bail conditions to keep him away. Getting support from womens aid and victim support. I had no choice but to let others take charge otherwise im totally sure i would still be stuck. I had to take a leap of faith which was so difficult because of the fear and guild and total confusion. I was heading for a break down and suicide, i had no choice and im so glad i did.

    • #47628
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Speak to Women’s Aid and get help from them instead of from your friend. They are skilled and know how to advise you without scaring you.

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