Any ideas?

[Benson]

Hi, it’s coming close to (Detail removed by moderator) again – hopefully it will be all over soon. Previously things have escalated massively during these times. However, he still doesn’t know where we are- it’s so good to be free, my little child is so happy and settled. I have heard that my ex has approached someone I know from my old area, demanding they tell him where we have gone. This person doesn’t know where we are, or even didn’t know we had gone! Anyway, I am slightly worried that my child’s nursery isn’t taking the ris seriously, for example I have rang several times this week and staff haven’t checked it was me or asked for password. In the past when I have changed nursery he rang round several trying to find her. I cannot risk being found, especially now he is obviously angry! Does anyone have any ideas how I can get the nursery to take it seriously and to put extra safety measures in place? I have a support worker with local DA services, is this something she might help with? Sorry just starting to panic again.

[Ayanna]

Yes, speak to the support worker to have a word with them in your presence.
They really need to take this on board.

[Chickadee]

Hi Benson.

I’m glad that you and your children have found happiness and peace.

My husband tried everything constantly to locate us as well, going through other people, making threats to others. having other people show up stalking me and kids, showing up himself and stalking. I can relate to and understand your fears.

Any one or any place that can not show you and your child enough respect to protect you I would get a place that does. And where your not constantly stressed and worrying about the safety of your child.

Hugs.

Chickadee

[Benson]

Thanks for your advice. I have spoken once again to the nursery reiterating the seriousness, hopefully they take note. I am also going to speak to support worker and ask if they can speak to nursery also. In the mean time I have heard it’s going back to MARAC to ensure things are in place for the dates coming up. I will be glad when it’s finally all over. I am loving my new life, but the court is constantly in the back of my mind! Thanks again for your support, when I start to panic I can’t think straight!

[White Rose]

Hi Benson
Hopefully your support worker should be able to get the message across to nursery but in the meantime ask to speak to their safeguarding lead and explain it all to them. That person should be switched on enough to understand the importance of your child’s safety – if they are not then it might be time to ask about their safeguarding policy, ask for their last Ofsted inspection report and change nurseries. The nursery has a requirement to provide a safe environment for your child and that’s not just about putting corner protectors on tables and having stair gates!
I’m really glad to hear you are enjoying your new life xx

[Chickadee]

Ditto and Amen to that. Go White Rose Go! 🎉

Wishing you and your child the best, Benson.

Chickadee

[freedomtochoose]

Hello there,
You are doing really well.
Just to add, in the past I have made a Freedom of Information Act request to check my child’s records at school. There is a book called ‘Your Right to Know’ written by the journalist Heather Brooke which tells you how to do this and there are examples in the back for letters.

Basically it is simple though:
Ask for the records in writing. You do not have to say or explain why you want them and they have a few weeks to respond to what they should see as a reasonable request.

I’m thinking what you could do is get your DA worker to submit a letter beforehand explaining that you would like all staff to be properly briefed re: people phoning about your child. We know they should be doing this anyway but this might be one way forward.

I know this seems slightly off topic but the book above may be useful for others in different circumstances if we encounter an organisation where we would like to know what they are saying or doing about us or our children. Having said that, you may not get all the information this way, as they have the right to withhold certain things under a safeguarding umbrella, but I found it useful and have done it twice, once in nursery, and once in secondary school.

big hug
ftc
x

[Benson]

Thanks for all your advice. After meeting with support services they are going to get in touch with nursery to reiterate the seriousness. Let’s hope it works! Just got to get through the next few weeks!

[Author]

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