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    • #103506
      GreenaM3
      Participant

      I left my partner after seeking help with the very relationship. He started therapy promising he would see it through and we kept in touch and he seemed to be doing well with the weekly meetings and determined he wouldn’t start a new relationship ship till he was sorted. Suddenly after (detail removed by Moderator) he cut all contact and I heard he’d met someone in line and moved in within (detail removed by Moderator). He then splashed it all on social media which I found very hurtful. I carried all the expenses while together and ended up using all my savings . He would pay half of living expenses but always had to ask and or go weeks without full payment . The last mi th of rent and expenses he never paid as he lost his job but promised he’d pay it all back once working . When he was short on car payment I’d pay and add it to amount owing. I realise now as I’m doing a course on Domestic abuse that this us all part of financial abuse. Now that he’s cut communication Um wondering if there is any recourse I can do to get the money he still owes which is (detail removed by Moderator). He has full time job and earns a good wage . I just feel such a fool believing he would honour his word but realise with this sudden new partner who has her own house he has moved on to someone else who can keep him comfortable as he has always had debt and and never been able to manage his finances . I have only just joined this forum and find it so helpful . Thank you to all who have shared .

    • #103507
      Iwantmeback
      Participant

      Hi and welcome to the forum. I had no idea I was financially abused either. We do what we do cos we’re in a relationship, what’s mine is yours and yours is mine kinda thing.
      Have you looked at contacting citizens advice, you could possibly take him to a small claims court. It’s all the subtle manipulation that really grates. Once we’re away it all begins to get clearer and clearer.
      My oh also started therapy off his own back, he’s still in the background chipping away, trying to ‘win me back’. He stopped therapy as it didnt work,but you can take that as meaning I didn’t go back. All it’s doing is hardening my resolve and scaring me that I’ll never be free of him. Part of me wishes he would find someone to take up his time, but I also know it would hurt so badly. I guess he’s invested a lot of time and energy into training me, we’d been together for well over 2 decades. I won’t start again, won’t ever trust anyone enough again. I filled out a disclosure form not long after I left. There wasn’t anything to disclose,probably due to us being together fir so long, but I hope I’ve put protection in place for any future women he may ‘charm’. I wonder if it’ll become the norm in the future to actually do background checks on prospective boyfriends/girlfriends?🤔I mean we have service history and MOT’s for our cars.
      IWMB 💞💞

      • #103510
        GreenaM3
        Participant

        Thank you IWHB. Yes I will try citizens advice.
        How or where can you fill out a Disclosure form. Think it’s a brilliant idea and hopefully becomes compulsory for any perpetrator of abuse.
        Is there a counselling service for victims through Woman’s Aid ?

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