Any success stories?

[gettingtired]

Are there actually any success stories on here? Maybe where the man has actually admitted he is an abuser and sought out the counselling/therapy he needs to change his ways? I read something about this in the Lundy Bancroft book but know it was very rare they accept they’re abusers..

Despite all the amazing advice and information I have learnt from the amazing ladies on here in such a short space of time the doubt is starting to set in… Like maybe he’ll change once we move/once he’s happy/once he’s back near his friends/once he gets a job/once he’s had counselling/once he’s stopped drink/drugs…

I had a bit of a freak out moment earlier in my head and was terrified that if I leave it will mean I won’t ever get to see his face again in my life and how awful that will be.

Rubbish day x

[KIP.]

Hi, you’ve been brainwashed and programmed to feel this bond. Abusers keep us in a fog. Fear Obligation and Guilt. He’s messed with your head. Made you fear being alone. I was told how I couldn’t live without him, how I had a mental illness, how nobody would want me etc. All designed to destroy my confidence. In reality they are pathetic insecure nasty little people, incapable of a loving equal partnership. In an abusive relationship the abuser thrives and has a great time like a parasite, where the victim loses sense of reality and her world becomes a smaller scarier place. What you feel is the result of abuse. You were a strong independent person before him and you will again. We are everything without them, they are nothing without us.

[Beautifulday]

@feelingtired

Sadly no these men do not change, if they do its maybe 1% and even then its at a push.

If they were so remorseful for their actions and words they would not have kept on abusing us, its who they are, like kip says they brainwash us, we become trauma bonded to the point we feel sorry for them being empaths we always see the good in people, we always want to help people.
He will never change, he may say he will , he may say sorry, he may promise to get counseling but usually its all false to hook you back in, it may seem lovely at first he may seem like he’s changed but he will always revert back to his old ways.

[Author]

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