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I’m currently in the process of leaving and I think he can sense it cos the niceness has been ramped up substantially. I find this one of the hardest things to deal with!
He’s suddenly so reasonable and putting in the effort with our child and really playing the part. I find myself being pulled back in and starting to doubt myself. It makes me feel like I’ve made it all up and there was never any abuse, in fact it was probably me who was difficult all along! It’s such a mind-bending position to be in.
I have to keep repeating to myself that it’s not always like this, it’s just a trap, don’t fall back in now when I’m so close to getting out… I think it makes it worse that I have to be nice back to him and play my role, so it becomes extra confusing because I’m never really getting to say what I think.
Luckily I’m very focused on leaving and can keep hold of that. It gets very hard though when he’s laying on how hard things are for him and how much he’s looking forward to certain plans we should do together.
Hopefully I’m not alone in repeatedly feeling lured in in this way.
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Oh yes yes and yes.
The nice spells are harder i think than the nasty. I feel so on edge waiting wondering when he will turn. Then you doubt yourself you start to think here he is trying hard and here I am being un responsive harsh un loving is the problem me?
Is this in my head?
Yep i get this every nice spell sweetie. Im still here too but with no sign of being able to leave.
Its amazing that you see and you are so determined to see your plan through. Read and re read your post you know its just part of the cycle dont allow him to suck you back in. You got this x -
Just wondering how long it’s gone on for you cause I’ve said I’m going and experiencing the same I have to keep going back to my notes to show why I’m going in my head I’m gone though I really am I’m not falling for it even though still go bed together he thinks I’m under his wing but I’m using him as he is using me
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It’s so amazing that you’re so focused on leaving @WLWonderer. To be honest I am a little jealous of how strong you sound and are right now! Keep being that strong, you’ll feel amazing once you come through this!
I posted on the forum just before I was planning on packing up my stuff from the house. I’m now feeling myself getting drawn back in because of the niceness. I felt so close but now I’m more confused then ever. He kept saying he loves me and that he’s going to change. And I believe him. And I feel like maybe I am so stupid for believing him or even considering trying to be with him again. I have boundaries I need to set up, but I’m just all in my head right now.
Keep focused @WLWonderer – you got this ❤️
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Its almost like they see your cracks they see you almost getting stronger fighting back even so they stop the hurt they pull it back they become that person you met and you are so low so down you crave that love you need that love so you allow it you let them back in time and time again it feels impossible to break that bind.
Know what makes it real to me? Its the fact we are here and we all have the same issues we can all say we have this too. Ive been fighting the word abuse ive been pretending this is not my life but when you read posts like these its hard not to believe. -
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They do sense it (I don’t know if it’s a body language thing or they just feel it) but your 💯 right they do, you know him better than anyone what he’s really like, he’s lulling you into a false sense again (I’m glad your aware and realise) 🌼🌸🌼
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