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    • #85407
      gladtobefree
      Participant

      My ex made me give up my business which was successful because he said he felt like he wasn’t the provider. It was all hot air and we separated soon after I gave it up and gave birth. He has been paying maintenance since we split and had missed a few payments or they were late. He hasn’t access due to his emotional abuse and hasn’t applied to court or returned to mediation. He asked to see our baby on her Birthday and I stood my ground as was advised no contact and he has to apply to court. He did not pay the week of her Birthday and hasn’t this week either. I know people will think my thinking is wrong but I’m glad he hasn’t because I’m hoping that he has realised he can’t control me now and has just thought it’s not worth it now. He only paid to look good and make me feel like he was the provider. My question is. Has anyone else just suddenly stopped getting maintenance and did they just go away after that?

    • #85411
      diymum@1
      Participant

      Yes this is exactly what happened with us. Except we went to court he took me twice the emotional abuse was proven. I didn’t pursue the maintenance as I had been doing before court. I get a small amount from him but these days I don’t even keep tabs. Once they can’t get to you they give up. Makes there intentions very clear wouldn’t you say xx they’re loss xxxx and life is better

      • #85414
        gladtobefree
        Participant

        I’m so glad he hasn’t paid me. I would rather have to provide everything myself and have the peace of mind that he has given up his games and is leaving us alone. Mediation was classes as not suitable for us and he said he made a court application but there has been no papers and it’s been over 4 months so he has to start the process again and go back to mediation. I had a lovely day for my child’s Birthday and then my ex’s Dad and Sister turned up in the evening after a year and were acting all nice. It upset me bit I welcomed them in and acted normal. They are more interested in the pub scene that to make a regular appearance so I chose my battles wisely on that occasion. My eldest Sons Grandad is the same and I realised how similar. He shows up every year or so and gives you all the emotional he should make more of an effort and then doesn’t so I just smile and act polite when he shows up. My ex’s family sent cards and the contents were all emotional and sad stuff which annoys me as I don’t know why anyone would want a child to read that stuff but they make everything about them xx

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