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So, I thought I could handle him – posted a while ago about him spying on me… Just been on “holiday” because he’s been so normal… it lasted 12 hours. We were in the middle of nowhere – not even a phone signal. In the middle of the night he bursts into my room with all sorts of wild accusations. Told him I needed to leave now – which we did. I thought he was using “crazy” to control me. Make me feel responsible. But I think he is actually properly unhinged. Have spoken to police. They’ve done a “MASH” report. He doesn’t know – we run a very complicated business together. I can’t manage it on my own without going bankrupt. I have to see him on soon at work – he is out of the house living elsewhere. He has been really nasty to me, believes everything he is accusing me of. It is wild. I don’t know what to do.
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Most of us thought we could handle them and most of us paid a high price for that mistake. I would advise seeing a solicitor as soon as possible about your financial position. He will use anything against you. He will bankrupt you both just to get the upper hand. Nothing is out of bounds. No collateral damage is too much. Friends, family, children, finances, physical violence. You have had an insight to his behaviour. I don’t know your situation but you could try stalling for time until you can protect yourself. Don’t be alone with him, but try to appease him, agree with him, give him what he thinks he wants while in the background you get all your ducks in a row. It’s a dangerous game but it might just come to bankruptcy being the easier option and I don’t say that lightly. Speak to women’s aid for advice. Never underestimate him x
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No, not a bit. Time to go for that acting award you always wanted. Doesn’t matter how much you want to tell him the truth, defend yourself, whatever, we do what it takes to get through this. Lie your head off. He thinks nothing of your feelings, go grey rock if you can too.
Get as much support from WA, your doctor, anyone you truly trust. It’s laughable when professionals tell us to lean on family support, really. What if family fall out with you and then tell him everything out of spite. I personally have no family for support, age, distance and other reasons. Only you ladies on here, my doctor and WA to emotionally support me.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞 -
Yeah I did, can remember the dawning realisations, this isnt going to change is it, he’s getting worse, he’s out of control; now I fear his unpredictablity, he can change direction like the wind in a flash, the explosions of n********m, but most of all I fear his stupid as he has bags and bags of that lol – just seems to keep on coming lol.
Sounds tricky, you def need legal advice for the business hey. Be safe x
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Don’t underestimate him. Try and stay one step ahead as you will know what he’s like. Keep to routine as much as possible and as IWMB said go for that acting award. Give him no important information and make plans, consult solicitors, doctors and WA for advice if needs be. Log everything. And avoid going anywhere remote with him from now on.
Take care xx -
Fizzylem I totally agree. I thought at one point I could handle my partner when I realise who and what he was but then the realisation dawned on me that there was no reasoning with him at all and that he was getting worse and moving the goalposts all the time. It became all about his life after it had been so much about mine while he plotted to reel me in. My partner is very clever, very manipulative but also stupid. I read some of his texts now and listen to what he says and it is unbelievable, laughable he is so deluded and full of his own self importance but he is also dangerous.
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Hey PTH, I hear yer – same hey. Dangerous. Leaving a path of distruction where ever they go, recking those lives of whoever have the misfortune to come into contact with them. Wish he would disappear sometimes but wishing only leads me into feeling desperation so I try not to do it. We have to work with the reality – eyes wide open – build in protections x
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Hi Nothinglikeme ,
Yes I thought I was strong, in love, and that I could handle him. Over more than a decade I lost a lot – health, money, friends,family, career, my dreams and my home. Saying that, I was blessed with children, some dear ones who stuck by me, and I have fought back my freedom. Now rebuilding my life and step by step.
Please get legal advice and be prepared for financial abuse, lies and defamation.
Try and step back from his crazy drama.
You are in a good position in that he is out of the house. Be prepared for sweet talking and pitiful stories that will make you cry but don’t let him in !! All the best and keep strong.
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