12th June 2020 at 5:26 pm #106096Wants To HelpParticipant
For those of us who are now in RECOVERY stage, ie, are definitely out for good and moving on ourselves.
Do any of us actually think we made a mistake by leaving for good?
I can categorically say leaving was not a mistake. My ex has abused both wives after me, one of whom has tried to take her own life (detail removed by moderator) whilst married to him.
12th June 2020 at 5:28 pm #106099KIP.Participant
No regrets here x
12th June 2020 at 5:32 pm #106101HunkyDoryParticipant
12th June 2020 at 6:06 pm #106108
Best thing I ever did wish I’d just said no to the first date now lol 😘
12th June 2020 at 6:08 pm #106109
The only reason we don’t do it is because we get conditioned very slowly so we can’t think straight. We look through a lense of fear we don’t trust ourselves anymore because of the abuse xx
13th June 2020 at 12:07 am #106164CamelParticipant
Absolutely no regrets for getting out, only regrets for staying so long x
13th June 2020 at 6:19 am #106180Soulsearcher18Participant
Honestly, things have been up and down. There is a loooooong road ahead and I am not sure how things are going to pan out, there could be some things happen which I am not quite sure how I will deal with
In getting out- I chose LIFE.
I have learnt and achieved so much since getting out, being on here helps me to see that.
I am starting to reconnect with the world, I am starting to find me again.
I’ve built a good support network
I’m not afraid/ashamed to ask for help
I am starting to care less about s**t that doesn’t matter- sometimes I still find that hard, I just want to be liked and to fit in and my path doesn’t always make that easy but I think that I’m finding what my purpose might be- if that makes sense?
Actually, sometimes I do question whether I actually do want to fit in with certain things anymore? Because it was trying to ‘fit’ kept me in for longer. I am quite proud to be a MODERN WITCH if that’s what they need me to be. If the cap fits and all that! 2 V’s up and embrace the rebel that was always in me. Born to be different and stand out from the crowd anyways.
And so, whatever might come my way, I feel more determined than ever that I will LIVE (as opposed to existing, or wishing not to exist).
So yeh, No Regrets. Pipe down perpetrators. Rise Sisters!
13th June 2020 at 7:38 am #106181
No regrets, as soon as I realised what was happening (ie. the abuse) I knew I had to get out. I’d regret having ever met him if it wasn’t for my children.
15th June 2020 at 10:39 pm #106469Scottish ThistleParticipant
No regrets to leave and know I have done the right thing, if I ever do have a wobble I remind myself of all the things he put me through emotionally and how in the relationship he never gave it was always his way (didn’t see it that way at the time, if I did I always put up with it) have been having a few off days recently not so much about my decision but how he is behaving with his new partner and her kids – the way he should have been with me all the time. And just been told tonight that he has deleted all pictures bar two of me from his Facebook account as if I ever existed. I know a n********t and abuser never fully change and know that his true traits will come out eventually. It’s also coming up to the year mark when I walked out and left him for good and I think that’s what’s playing on my mind a bit more recently.
15th June 2020 at 11:20 pm #106477BraelynnParticipant
Heaven’s No!!!! Whatever little pang of boo-hoo that pops up gets pulled out by it’s poisonous roots, stomped on, burned and flushed down the toilet. Trash in, trash out. I wish I could go back to the beginning so I could spit in his face. ok,ok, back to my calm happy place…..that wasn’t a trigger was it? LOL!
16th June 2020 at 2:28 pm #106516
17th June 2020 at 6:43 am #106568journeyupwardsParticipant
I don’t regret a thing now!
I’m not fully recovered, and I had multiple abusive relationships, but my pattern of recovery generally goes as follows:
1) identify abuse
2) Leave abuser
3) Confusion: Back & forth, wondering whether there was abuse at all, whether I’m overreacting or making it up. (But when I write it down it helps me to see what happened objectively)
Wondering whether I’m the “bad” one, or if they are. Sometimes when I see them as bad, I have fantasies of revenge.
In this phase I sometimes go back to my abuser.
4) Blocking them out of my mind: I forget about the abuser, and when I think of them there is no emotional attachment. I don’t have a negative reaction, as I should to abuse, but I don’t want to go back to them either. When I really think about the abuse or write it down, I do have quite a negative reaction.
5) I see them as bad, on a pretty consistent basis. I do not desire to go back to them. Sometimes involves fantasies of revenge, but evolves into just wanting to move on with my own life and not think about them anymore, as they have already controlled me enough. In this phase, I still suffer a lot of mental health issues as a result of abuse.
I am still at stage 5 but I hope to keep moving forwards! I have medication and am starting therapy for my diagnosed CPTSD.
This is just my personal tale of recovery, but ultimately, no I don’t regret escaping anymore now that I am more recovered. Best of luck to all of you on your journey of recovery
22nd June 2020 at 4:27 pm #107248
27th June 2020 at 11:27 am #107774
Bumping for the women who are doubting, for the women who are wondering, for the women who need some reassurance. Reach out when you feel comfortable, there will always be somewhere here to listen. xx
27th June 2020 at 5:38 pm #107831EggshellsParticipant
Once you’re out, you wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
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