Apologies for my return :-(

[Rainydays]

I’m so sorry to bother you all, it’s been a while since I have been here, but feel there’s no one else to listen.  Feel like ‘what’s the point anymore?’ – like I’ve read from other ladies, I’m on that ‘hamsters wheel’ with him – everything is my fault, (detail removed by moderator)

I get up at (detail removed by moderator) to make his coffee, prepare a (detail removed by moderator) and lunch for him to take to work, and a coffee in a flask mug for him to drink on the way to work, wash his clothes, iron, make sure that nothing of his is left in the washing basket, clean the house, take the bins out, clean the bbq, clean the drains, take him to his hair and facial appointments – ask nothing of him, do all the shopping and as soon as I walk in the door from work in the evenings usually around (detail removed by moderator) (he gets in around (detail removed by moderator), showers, then sits on the sofa), I cook an evening meal, wash up, prepare the next evenings meal.  I don’t ask him to do anything – but that’s not enough.

There are no cuddles and if I try to give him a kiss as he walks out the door for work – he turns his cheek.  He wanders off to bed without a word, doesn’t pull the curtains, tidy the sofa, switch off the tv or lights, lock the door – nothing.  And when I eventually get to bed, his back to me unless he wants sex and then if I don’t comply – I’m a moody ‘b***h proving  how much I don’t care or look after him.

It all hurts so much and I’m so tired, just tired of life and living now – I live a life in silence unless he is ranting off at me, I’m fat, I’m useless, I don’t care about him, I don’t look after him – endlessly it goes on and on and on.  And then when I get to work, endless horrible text messages telling me (detail removed by moderator) Back to the same thing ……………..

I’ve no life – don’t see the point anymore

[Bananaboat]

You don’t have to apologise, we’re all here for you. What a nasty man and no wonder you’re tired, where’s the joy in living this way.

Look how strong you are. Look how much you achieve. Without help. Take a minute to be proud of yourself in the trenches. You know there’s options but I get that leaving isn’t for everyone. We got you, post and keep posting xx

[Sad and alone]

I get this completely, I’m also still here, just feels like I’m navigating life. Nothing is your fault. He doesn’t see a thing you do – prob because it’s what he expects. He’d soon notice if you stopped doing it. Have you considered not doing so much for him? Or would this lead to more conflict?

[nbumblebee]

Dont say sorry. We get it. Im still here too and do very much as you do and get the same in return. Exhastion isnt a strong enough word is it? Ive been poorly and it could have been alot worse my main reaskn for the illness was stress i keep it all in I am so angry tired stressed hurt scared all the time my brain just blew and it had had enough. It gave me a real scare. What im trying to say is nobody is telling you to leave certainly not me oh we all know we should but its never that easy. What we do have to do is make our lives worth living somehow. Mine is work you need to find a why a reason to carry on. You also need to talk it out dont let it fester inside my lovely its not good.

We are all here for you sweetie x

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