Arranging contact via child?

[Tractor]

I am at my wits end. The ex threatened me via my child’s phone and now him and his partner refuse to stick to contact both blocked me and told my h my child not to let mummy use your phone . Now proceeding to text child starting can you ask your mum etc etc and think it’s appropriate to sort it she’s very young can barely spell and down think this is right ? I worry about her emotional well being.

Left messages for the helpline spoke to nspcc left messages ginger bread .

People suggest a miam ? Or cut contact completely I honestly don’t know what to do.

Still all about power control and intimidation

[White Rose]

This is wrong. Children should never act as a go between and it sounds as if that’s what’s happening and that’s what’s worrying you. PLUS even though she might not be great at spelling she may be reading his texts to you and that’s not good for her emotional well-being.
One easy solution – take the phone off her! If she is “really young and can barely spell”, as you say then is she old enough to have a phone? Why does she need one? If its to talk to dad or you when she’s with the other parent then she can contact via your mobiles or land line if you have one. If that’s “not allowed” when she wants to then that is an issue to discuss with solicitor/court/social services as it’s possibly leading to distress for her.
If you are worried about her emotional well-being then NSPCC or local social services/family services I’m sure will help with advice. But I’d really suggest getting rid of that phone – teenagers have enough problems with them don’t put your child at risk of that cat a young age! Document everything and save texts in case you need proof at anytime.
Take care xx

[Tractor]

Thank you so much you are right she only uses it for app and maths stuff she can use my tablet she uses it to send me messages and ring at her dad’s so can maybe just give it her when she goes.

I’ve just spoken to the help line or my gosh those guys deserves medals so undertanding and knowledgeable given me loads of websites and numbers to try which I wasn’t aware of so feel much better. X

[Author]

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