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    • #6923
      Moon
      Participant

      I’m so sorry, am so ashamed of myself! I’ve ended up having a drink tonight and I haven’t had one for ages so maybe that’s why I’m feeling brave and posting more things !
      But I just needed one tonight to just forget the world for a few hours 😢
      Last night he came home from work before midnight in a not very good mood so I could see that nothing I said or done would be right. As the new year was coming in he was constantly moaning at me and telling me that he was angry. I didn’t answer his questions quickly enough and that’s what I done wrong last night.
      He told me that he hadn’t hurt me since 2015 so that was good !!! (It was about 5 mins into 2016)
      He became every character from the freedom programme for the next few hours and I let him as couldn’t fight him.
      I went to work today and felt like I’d escaped for the day didn’t even mind finishing late!

      I just don’t understand what I have done that is so wrong- I make sure everything is always done and then he tells me I irritate him as I try to fix everything in life 😢
      Sorry just having a moment xx

    • #6927
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi Moon

      Its nothing you have done, I have work most of the Christmas it was much better than being at home.

      As long as your safe its ok to have a drink, I don’t because I have to be alert.

      Does he expect a medal for not hurting you in 2015? What about all the mental anguish he caused?

      Mine use to get annoy because of me being to lively so I would workout for hours so that when I came in I just sat quietly.

      Hugs and stay strong xx

    • #6929
      KIP.
      Participant

      You have done nothing wrong. He just enjoys abusing you. You could be perfect and he would find something to abuse you with. I used to call it moving the goal posts. It’s mental cruelty and keeps us so confused we use up headspace trying to make sense. You won’t make sense of it. He just gets his kicks from abuse and control. And it only gets worse. Stay safe x

    • #6934
      Moon
      Participant

      Hi fs

      He was saying he hadn’t hurt me since 2015 as we were just into 2016 – he was trying to be funny.
      I go to work for a break even though my job can be challenging it’s much easier than home.

      No I shouldn’t be drinking but he’s at work at mo and just wanna forget for a bit and will make later easier 😢

      He was showing me survival techniques last night ???? So that’s different to violence !

      But each one ended up me being hurt as well as him telling me how what I say is a waste of oxygen and generally putting me down.
      Then I’m sure I don’t need to spell out how it all ended 😢
      X

      Why do I still protect him !! X

    • #6935
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi Moon

      You protect him because you are condition too.

      Survival techniques…… assault more like it.

      Mine was always accidently standing on my toes with his steel toecaps on, to which one is always falling off.

      He would get ruff and if I tried to get away I would hurt myself….

      Stay safe xx

    • #6941
      Tamra
      Participant

      Hi Moon,

      You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are just escaping for a bit while he is out. He sounds very hard work and my god a Mr head-worker, just like my ex was, they get under your skin. Its amazing after doing the freedom program just watching the playing out each character – just shocking that they can been so many different people in such a short space of time

      I agree with Falling Skys with the survival techniques and its more about assault.
      What a nasty piece of work he is…

      Stay safe big hug
      xx

    • #6983
      Marthamoo
      Participant

      Knowing something isn’t right doesn’t make it easier to understand or do something about. You will be doing absolutely nothing wrong and the ladies above are right, even if you were ‘perfect’ he would find something else to complain about. Moving the goal posts is a tactic that is used time and time again by abusers to create uncertainty, confusion and anxiety. It is a great way of keeping us guessing and by doing so keeping us under their control and making them our sole focus. Stay strong and stay safe and try and remember that it isn’t you that is at fault, it is him xx

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