awareness of others’ abusive relationships

[swanlake]

Having been in abusive relatinoships myself it’s really hard to watch others going through their own abusive relationships.
I guess that it would be hard anyway to watch someone you care for going through something so dreadful. A family member is suffering at the moment and it’s all a bit much for me sometimes, a bit triggering.
(detail removed by Moderator). I just feel so sad and helpless at the moment.
(detail removed by Moderator). It’s so frustrating.

[Lisa]

Hi swanlake,

It is always really difficult seeing someone you care about experiencing abuse. When it triggers feelings and memories of domestic abuse you experienced yourself that adds another layer to the distress. Having personal experience may mean that you better understand how difficult it is to leave or even recognise and accept that abuse is happening. It’s okay to take time for yourself and to get support when you’re being triggered.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[StrongLife]

I’m in similar situation with someone.

It’s triggering. I am here but it’s not good to see.

Things are changing there. Albeit my opinion has been quietly said and unlikely to do much.

[swanlake]

Thinking of you StrongLife.
I’m sorry it’s taken me ages to reply. I sometimes don’t know what to do for the best and stopped visiting the forum for a while. But now I’m back!
I now have multiple friends in abusive relationships and my own situation has worsened. I find it hard to share about my situation with them when I know that they are struggling so much too.

[Primrose]

Hi Swanlake,
I came back on here today because I know the young girl that has spent (detail removed by moderator) with my ex abuser (he left me for her and she was only (detail removed by moderator) at the time, still (detail removed by moderator)) is currently suffering. I know this because she contacted me in (detail removed by moderator). It’s been a massive trigger and I’m currently off work and finding it very difficult to cope. I’m not sure what to do or if there’s anything I can do. I told her to ‘run’ and to try and stay safe.
Sometimes it’s easy to just forget it all happened but sometimes things like this bring it all back along with the guilt of letting this man in my life and my children’s life. I’m with somebody new now and I tell him a little but it’s hard to describe what happens when your mind takes you back. I have every empathy for you and wish you all the best in coping. It’s hard.

[swanlake]

That sounds so new and raw. I’ve had to take time off work to support others as it was so stressful and made me unwell. It’s hard in the small town where I used to live where lives get entwined in peculiar ways as I know several people who have abused more than one person who I know.
When my own abusive relationship started I was really young and had little family support. They knew this person and introduced me to them!
Take good care of yourself at this time.

[StrongLife]

I started to log what I heard as a way of controlling it. I heard it at the time. They finally split up (I did not know them) but it was highly triggering.

[Author]

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