Back here again finally

[Eve1]

I’ve found this new site quite of putting and forgot my password and felt a bit pushed out. I’m quite a few years out of abuse and felt like perhaps I should be able to manage without it. All this happened at a time when I’ve started to low again, but I emailed Lisa and today I feel the need to post so here I am.
I thought as I’ve got this week off work I would feel ok, but maybe cos I’ve spent a couple of days on my own I’ve felt terrible. I spent those days crying so yesterday I went to the gp and got a prescription for antidepressants again. You’ll the first one last night and don’t like this sick feeling, but the best thing they did for me was help me sleep, so I’m hoping that will work soon. I recently had an injury which meant I can’t be as active at the moment, plus i saw my parents over Christmas and my poor mum is getting so frail and I feel helpless as on not on the doorstep, plus my Dad bullies her but she’s always been in denial about this. I’ve been doing a lot of wishing i could have done things differently and held on to the house but I had no fight at the time, or resources. So things are very tight and its not a great time of year for that, is it? I realised I was getting low though and have made an initial appointment to go back to counselling again. Something happened which made me realise I could do with some support still, so we’ll see. In my worst moments recently I felt like ringing the helpline, but again, I felt like I’m too long out of the relationship to do it. I know that’s not the case, but anyway.
Best wishes
Eve

[Tamra]

Hi Eve,

If you need the support them use the helpline its there to help anyone who has or is in an abusive situation. I feel for you watching your mum go though this too and not being able to do anything.

No this time of year is awful as I have found out this year I have only been out a few months and I have struggled emotionally.

Even though Im still fairly new on here Im Glad you found the strength to get back on here to share how you feel. Keep posting

Tamra
xx

[Daisy]

Bless you eve, and welcome back,
Sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, but well done for realising it and taking the action you have,
It’s just not true eve, that x time out means we should be over it all and fixed, in fact I’d say that often it is well later that it really hits us.
Aging parents, especially when we feel we are unable to help as much as we would like always makes me cry too, so I feel for you,
Sending you a hug
X x x

[Falling Skys]

Pleased to have you back xx

You are a survivor and we survivors stick together. It don’t matter how long you been out if you need help you call xx

Everything seems so much harder this time of year, big hugs and keep posting xx

[White Rose]

Hi Eve. Sorry you felt a need to come back but glad you felt you could. new forum is different but the excellent support is still here.
Topics list is a good way to keep track of things.
I’m just back on my antidepressants too after months off after having a real down time. I know the feeling of fuzzy head and nausea and tiredness well it will imorove and they will help.
Take care xxxx

[Serenity]

Hi Eve,

I haven’t posted much recently, one reason being I find the new layout very difficult. However, I felt like trying to reach out to people and try to connect at this difficult time of year. I am sure many are feeling low.

Christmas / holidays are always an emotive time. Use this time to engage in self-care. Rest, spoil yourself, don’t feel pushed to rush around like a headless chicken with the many thousands who are!

Take life very slowly, recharge your batteries. Sometimes, emotions will resurface and become overwhelming, but it will pass. You will feel stringer again.

I am waiting for the first daffodils and snowdrops. To be honest, I find Xmas claustrophobic. My ex ruined too many of them.

Keep strong, Eve. I am back here and I am still on my tablets- don’t feel bad about not healing quickly enough. Abuse is damaging beyond anything, and it takes time to truly heal.

Hugs.

[Eve1]

Thank you so much for your replies. It sometimes feels like no one understands apart from us ladies. It really helped to read your words.
Best wishes for a peaceful New Year.
Eve
x

[Eve1]

Sorry, just need to talk again. I only took one day of 20mg of antidepressant and felt so sick and tiredtired couldn’t face them so missed a couple of days and then today taken half of one as I felt I was going to cry all day. I’m here with my daughter and its not fair on her. I’ve taken 10 mg for a while before. Id just overcome with the need to talk to someone about everything. I’ve got a counselling appointment on Monday, thankfully but then I’ve got to go back to a horrible job. There’s a slim possibility of another job. I think that’s what I’m worried about, I’ll feel horrible and won’t get this job. Will try and get out for a walk as I’ve got no energy and that might help.
I did have a nice new years eve with my daughter and hoped I’d feel ok today. I wish I could survive working part-time. Feel like if I don’t get this other job I’ll struggle to keep this one.
Eve

[White Rose]

Hi Eve. Hope you get your walk. I’m just back from mine really had to push myself to go but it was worth it!
Tablet side effects are dire. I feel hungover and haven’t drunk for a week and then it was only a small glass of wine but I feel as if I’ve done 10 rounds with the rugby boys! My GP started me on half dose then increase after 7-10 days.
Keep positive. I hope 2016 turns into a better year x*x

[Tamra]

Hi Eve,
I also just got back from a walk and popped to see my friend so hope you manage to go for your walk and blow away some of the cobwebs. I also burnt a letter I wrote to him a while ago – he never saw it but I had it in my pocket for quite a few months so thought I would get rid of it.

Glad you had a good evening with your daughter. Everyday has new challenges and the emotions may run high and thats ok. I hope the job situation sorts its way in a positive direction for you, its hard working somewhere you dont like when things are ok but when you feel down it makes it harder. I also worrying about going back to work next and I like my job but I just dont see the point right now and in the job I do I have to kind of care for my clients over myself.

Hope your day gets better and post as much as you need to.
big hug
xx

[Eve1]

Thanks again. The walk helped a bit, though I have a painful foot injury. I’m waiting for some physio, in even wondering if there’s damage on the other side to where they x rayed, as that’s where it hurts. Hopefully the physio will come through soon and I’ll speak to them about it. Thank you ladies

[Falling Skys]

So pleased your feeling a little better.

Our journey to freedom is a hard one but will be worth it xx

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