This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Wisewords 7 months, 3 weeks ago.

  • Author
  • #96209

    I was away for some time but had to return to sort out things. Time passed so quickly and smoothly on. My own with nothing jarring or bad. I made friends with a few people and even got offers of accommodation. I discovered if I smiled at people and spoke nicely to them they did the same back to me. I had forgotten how to do this.

    Then back to crazy land. First thing, discovered lies, massive ones, about his finances to me. Disjointed communications with him and not getting straight answers to anything. He tried to bully me into a wretched paltry financial agreement. Now I am going full on out for myself in accordance wit the law, with no pity involved and he is becoming all begging for sympathy, up in my face all the time, and clearly sh******s worried about something to do with his undisclosed finances. Keeps physically invading my space. If I put the heating on he turns it off. The house is never warm enough so I go to bed early. If I go to use the kitchen he physically gets between me and the taps or kettle as if by accident. There is lots more.
    My head is throbbing and I just want to curl up and disappear. My anxiety levels are through the roof because this is when he is at his most dangerous, when money is involved. I am thinking I want to leave and go back to my own country again.

  • #96214

    Oh my lovely, big hugs. Do whatever you need to to be safe xx

  • #96241

    Cecile he does the same to me…he turns the heating off and tells me its NOT cold. He has even sabotaged the heating that it is boiling upstairs and downstairs it’s cold, either that or the radiators need to be flushed out. I know that an app can be used to control heating. He is trying to convince me that I am going mad. He plays his (removed by moderator) full blast and he knows I am going through a mental breakdown, he tells me I am only in “his” house as a guest he rents the property in his name, says we are not married only on paper, tells me to get out of his house. Tries to make me apologise for everything I say. Hes bought new furniture tells me its his not ours. I have lost everything yet we still legally married. I am in such a bad head space I cannot even concentrate my memory is going and just over a year ago I could remember everything, dates and actors names etc. but its become so bad that I cannot remember these simple things, he shouts even when I ask him simple things, he refuses to speak to me in a normal tone of voice, he plays the tv loud when I want to go to bed. I am in such a bad space Ive lost the ability to cook or bake and I used to be excellent at baking and cooking, my timing is totally out of sync, tonight he’s out and Im waiting for ready meal its now (detail removed by moderator) I never used to worry about what time I ate but suddenly everything is timed. I have to be in bed by (removed by moderator) or I don’t fall asleep. I have become terribly OCD and have (removed by moderator) which I never had before. I move things unnecessarily, when I never used to do these things. I was once very normal. Its sheer hell on earth. He cramps the house with gadgets and boxes all over the place we have just moved and he wont store the stuff in a storage unit, but he has money, (removed by moderator) we sleep in separate rooms too, he threatens to put my radiators off in my bedroom and bathroom upstairs. Its colder downstairs than upstairs yet I have to regulate the heating by the thermostat, come (removed by moderator) unless I put the boiler off its unbelievable

  • #96280

    yes the heater in my bedroom and the room where I sit at night don’t work properly either. he threw out a thermometer I had bought and denied it.bully boy tactics. went to look for a piece of sports equipment I bought and it has ‘disappeared’.

  • #96677

    The heating is an issue in our house too! He constantly turns it down behind my back, I mean literally to 10 degrees so it’ll simply never click on. Classic time for doing it is in the morning, he gets up very early to go to work so he has the place warming up while he has a shower etc and I’m still in bed then turns it down when he leaves! Has the nerve to say “we can’t afford it to be so hot in here” – err, it’s ME that pays the bills, he’s never given me any money towards them.
    Just a quick note PRETTYWOMAN too, regarding the OCD. You’ve got me thinking, I used to be crippled with OCD as a child, took me a good 25-30 years to get it under control. Ironically, I had it at its best just before I met my partner. I unfortunately have noticed in the last few weeks some little habits start creeping back in which I’m struggling to control, it’s scaring me a bit. It’s probably related to the abuse, my subconscious perhaps giving me something I can then control, but it’s hell, isn’t it. Hugs to all.

  • #96684

    Yes I never told anyone until now but I developed some OCD traits as well, constantly checking something every other minute, checking the cooker is off, checking doors are locked. Its calming down with anti-depressants but still there when I am in the house with him. I was away for weeks and the symptoms abated. Now they are back.I will have them logged with the GP

    Well, tomorrow will take legal action to ensure his current challenge to my welfare is knocked back. Enough is enough.I wish I could go into details!

  • #97309

    Hi Cecile. Stay strong. I have had similar with financial situation- private message me if you wish x*x

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.


© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account