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    • #131971
      Ineedabreakplease
      Participant

      I decided to go ahead with reporting emotional abuse to the police and I have an appointment to make a statement soon. My support worker thinks husband might be arrested soon after for coercive control. I am trying to stay strong but terrified of what his reaction will be.
      What are your experiences with bail conditions?

      How long do they typically last and would it only apply to me?
      What about my children and family? Would he be allowed to contact my parents for example?
      If he’s allowed contact with the children, how did you arrange this? He has threatened to take the children in the past so I feel this would be high risk.
      Will he have to stay a certain distance from our home?
      When bail conditions came to an end, did you apply for an occupation order in the meantime so he could not come home?

      Thank you, sorry for all the questions!

    • #131973
      beachhut
      Participant

      I am sorry to say there is no definitive answer to your question. All will depend on what he is arrested for. He could be arrested and bailed awaiting further enquiries with no conditions at all apart from a date to return, he could be arrested and charged, and bailed. There are so many variables depending on the action taken by the police. When you go to make your statement you must inform the police of any concern regarding your own or your children’s safety, and any other worries you may have especially once he has been arrested. I am sorry to be so negative but there are not hard and fast rules everything depends on the circumstances at the time. Stay strong and stay safe.

    • #131974
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hey, bail conditions are very individual but tell the police what you need. Mine lasted (detail removed by moderator), until the court case was heard. If he breaks the bail conditions it’s important you report him and keep reporting him. And ask for children or relatives to be added. If this isn’t granted you can take out a civil order called a non molestation order. Your relatives can do this too if he contact them. If they’re witnesses then it’s interfering with witnesses and that won’t go down well for him. Rights of Women offer a free legal helpline and have a good website. Contact your local women’s aid. They deal with situations like this often and can give good advice. I got an occupation order after bail was lifted. If he’s found guilty the judge may well add a non harrassment order to his sentence again asks the crown office to ask for this. Victim support are a great organisation for help with the criminal justice system. They can liaise with with police for you. Start gathering a support network and keeping all the evidence you can from his texts to emails to witnesses etc.

    • #131978
      Ineedabreakplease
      Participant

      Thanks both, I can understand they’re individual and I guess I’m asking for the impossible – someone to tell me how this is all going to work out:) The date of my meeting with the police is still a little way away and I’m so nervous all day every day and my mind is racing, I’m struggling to focus at work but don’t think I can tell my employer what’s going on. I don’t know how I’ll get through all this..

    • #131984
      KIP.
      Participant

      Talk to your GP. There’s lots of help out there just limit what you’re doing. I had to limit myself to three things a day so don’t take on any more than you have to. You will get through this, one baby step at a time. If you don’t have bail you can ask about a non molestation order now. Get yourself some protection it may make you feel more in control.

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