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My doctor has ssked me for consent today to refer to safegarding.
When i asked what this meabs she said social services would be involved and there will be lots of meetings. I panicked and said no i dont want this yet.
Shes made an appointment for me to speak to their safeguarding leader doctor. Im now messing myself. She said although she normally involves them in physical abuse cases because oc his threats she isnt happy to leave it more than 2 weeks.
He at home knows something is up and wants me to get back to normal, wanting reassurance and keeps asking if im seeing someone else then says he knows i dont want to be there but how can i go until i know things are safely in place.
I feel so consumed with guilt 😪
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awe dont feel guilty – this good news the safe guarder is there to protect you and the kids xx please stay safe and let them help, it is scarey but honestly i actually fought for a safe guarder and the said no because there wasnt physical abuse at that point xx have a look at the book when dad hurts mum it explains how to deal with the professionals just tell them the truth xxxx lots of love diymum xxxx
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Hey flower, if a GP has picked up that this needs to go to safeguarding then that is a good thing. Try to roll with it, it’s great that she has sought your consent and is mindful of the stress you feel, giving you a bit of time to think about things, I imagine she is hoping you will come round. Thing is, she doesn’t need your consent if she has concerns, so it would be best for you to engage and talk things through with the professionals and gain some support here. This GP sounds like she really wants to help you and your child / children to me, she’s actually completely on your side here.
You have nothing to feel guilty about, this was the GPs call; it is wise not to say anything at all about it to him.
Keep chipping away at your exit plan, gathering info, have you called womens aid? Got a WA’s support worker from the local charity yet?
Yes, keep it secret and don’t take any risks, your safety and your child / childrens saftey comes first above anything else x
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Of course, no one wants this; but I think what is important to acknowledge is that you can’t do this alone, all of us on here that have left, learnt that it simply cant be done alone, we all needed a team of support.
Of course you feel anxious, it’s the unknown isn’t it. Also what often occurs in an abusive relationship is they jump on our worst fears – leaves us not knowing what is true or not, whose on my side or who is out to get me, what is the right thing to do here. Stuff like this; self doubt.
You need support GMLB, to get your life back! Sometimes when the mum calls SS for help they turn on her, as sad as this is, we are viewed as anxious and projecting our anxieties onto our children. They appear to me to be quite pro dad’s just now. I’ve read a few posts like this on here. BUT, wWhen a health professional makes the refrral and stands up and says something needs to be done here – the opposite occurs – it takes a very different course.
Try to remember you have done nothing wrong here; it is his behaviour that is causing you all difficulties x
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