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Chestnut.
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23rd August 2020 at 10:37 am #112639
PaleBlueStar
ParticipantDoes this happen to you?
I’m still in my relationship, living together but we’ve agreed we are splitting up but my husband says we aren’t separating until he is ready and he’s remaining in the house. So what is our status?
This creates an opportunity for him to continue to gaslight me and try and convince me I can’t survive without him.
My behaviour is terrible as always. He’s Mr Reasonable to the world. Accepting it’s over because it’s wasn’t working’ but offering me the opportunity to work with him in partnership to get house finished and ready for a sale. He’s done a bit of painting and actually asked me to photograph it and put it on Social media registering my thanks and gratitude.
He reminds me how I asked him not to work so he could drive me everywhere and cook supper every night. Not true. He tells me I need to talk to the children about what they want which I can’t do as he’s always here. He says if I was in anyway a mature adult, I’d do this in front of him. But it would be false and anyway I know they just want us to separate but all to be happy.
He’s poisoned a friendship I’ve had with a guy I was at school with (detail removed by Moderator) yrs ago. Saying he’s my boyfriend so I can no longer stay there when I visit friends.
He’s highly controlled and trying to make me lose control. My temper. I’m broken and he’s happy. Desperate to see me break so he can swoop in and take everything from me.
I know I need to hold tight but it’s tough. I find with him that despite his requests for me to communicate my needs and desires once I do he will ensure it’s the one thing I will never get.
I’ve asked for space. Him to go away for a few days or longer.
No chance. He wants me out.
Thinking of everyone else reading this in the same situation.
Star 🌟
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23rd August 2020 at 1:44 pm #112642
Chestnut
ParticipantHello, there is another post about living with someone you are separated from which may be helpful. I am nearly out of situation but have been living together separated has been some very strange things happen but also at times seeming very reasonable. Bought out a bottle of bubbly to celebrate me getting my new house …. very odd especially when mixed with all the other things that have happened. It’s mind boggling and sounds so weird to even describe to someone else. It sounds to me like it is final attempts at control, to make you doubt yourself, make him seem reasonable to you in ways and also to anyone who didn’t know the situation. What a grown up man wanting to sort the house and then get it sold, shouldn’t move out until done this etc, but then asking you to do anything that might have an emotional come back, talking to children etc. It is control, a game. Let him play it on his own and just hold on to the end outcome you will and are able to get out of this relationship. X
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