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    • #49020
      citrine
      Participant

      Very few people know where I now live.

      One of my so called friends has just messaged me saying that my ex has been to her house.

      Apparently he wanted to know that my children are ok, well of course they are ok, I’ve looked after them for the past xxyears alone!!

      She said she hasn’t told him where i live.

      Then she went on to say about my children meeting him at her house to take the pressure off of him !!!

      Pressure off of him !! I can’t express how angry and hurt I am right now

      I’m paying a solicitor to sort this out not her.

      I just don’t know what to do !!!

      Sorry for the rant

      Citrine x*x

    • #49041
      Serenity
      Participant

      He’s manipulating her, or she’s being a fool and being taken in my his poor me attitude.

      My ex did that. He used one of my ‘friends’ to try to get me to do things. She couldn’t even see how she was being used: I think she was flattered by his empty flattery ( which he was no doubt using to get her to be his pawn).

      Tell this friend that you don’t wish to speak about the situation with her, as it’s highly sensitive; that the subject is out of bounds. No way should he use her home as a contact place. He’s trying to encroach on to your privacy by involving one of your friends. He’s trying to get to you.

      His life and your life should be very separate. He knows this, but he thinks he’s being clever. Unfortunately for him, you are wise to his covert tactics.

      If your friend insists on meddling like this, or allowing herself to be used by him, maybe you need to set a bigger distance between her and you.

      (In my case, I had to go as far as (detail removed by Moderator) to make my ex promise that the kids would not be taken to this ‘friend’s’ house. She was not a good person- I had just given her a chance, but she was a bad influence. I had to cut her out from my life completely. It turns out that my ex was flattering her and she was putty in his hands, being his spy and trying to make me do things that I didn’t want to do. She was also engaging in behaviours in her own home which I feel were safeguarding issues for her own children.)

      I know you must feel furious at this friend- and she’s crossed a line. You have every right to be angry. I imagine that your ex is putting on his best Oscar-winning performance, trying to make people feel sorry for him. Just as we did once, I suppose.

    • #49056
      citrine
      Participant

      Thank you Serenity.

      I’ve decided that I’m just going to have to make a great big gap between me and my “friend”. I just so hurt by her actions. I just will never be able to trust her.

      Just as I begin to take down my barriers I feel I have to put them back up again.

      I guess I dust my knees off and get back up again.

      Thank you
      Citrine x*x

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