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    • #145883
      Shaishai
      Participant

      As part of my therapy it has been suggested I could break some of the rules that were in place during my relationship. This is so I can see how I’m not going to be hurt anymore. I’m so scared about doing this.

      Have any of you done something similar? What rules did you break and how did it feel? I’m only just beginning to accept I’m not to blame.

    • #145918
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Hello, it’ll seem scary but try starting small. I don’t know what rules you had or how strict they were but what about watching something on telly you weren’t allowed to watch (mine is (removed by moderator)), going to a shop and buying or just trying something on which you couldn’t before (some on here have bought a nice skirt after years being told they couldn’t wear one).

      Others on here have dyed or cut their hair. Personally doing something in an evening like just going to a supermarket after the time he finished work was one step, planning an event (even if I didn’t do it) for a weekend, even sitting in macdonalds on my own eating a burger at midday was one. Another was meeting some work friends for a drink without a curfew.

      Things you can do at home if you’re in a safe environment might be a good start. What about looking up a holiday to somewhere you fancy visiting? Calling a friend or visiting someone. Good luck, it’s daunting initially but hopefully you’ll soon find it exciting xx

      • #145974
        Shaishai
        Participant

        Thank you for your suggestions. It’s really hard to think back a few decades to remember some of the rules. Also, I have probably broken a few since then. I know I spent years blocking a lot out from the relationship.

        I am only just able to talk about it with a therapist after all these years. So it’s a slow process bringing up some things I have forgotten

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