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I am never sure which forum to post in. I left over (timeframe removed by Moderator) months ago but still badly affected and 1st Christmas without the usual normality in our house. Feel numb and sick, blocking out good & bad memories and know I’m too far down the line to change my mind again !!
At my parents for Christmas and here early so I can see grown up kids as they ‘pop-in’ enroute. Cancelled plans with supportive friends to put kids first and now regretting. Parents mean well but b****y nagging me and treating me like their child again. Ex sent me lovely photos of our kids with their partners all happy when with him for (specific detail removed by Moderator), Rubbing salt in my wounds. I feel guilty??? Why? For breaking up the family and our future for MY happiness. I know that I could tolerate and return but it’s all too messy now and I would loose good friends that have helped me emotionally & practically. Plus, I know it wouldn’t change and I would be back in the crazy cycle of abuse once again. Trapped till I die.
I need my own place with some stability, I wake up disorientated every morning not knowing where I am. Bags of stuff travelling with me each week.
Yippee! 😻 Cat sitting for a friend soon in her house so can escape my parents for a while. Sad days, that I am looking forward to returning to work in the NY when this season is over.
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Hi Haven,
Thank you for sharing with us. I hope it helps to post here about what is happening and how you are feeling. This time of year can cause such a range of emotions. It is a lot to deal with and process along with abusive behaviours and memories.
Keep posting when you can, we are here for you.
Take care,
Lisa
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Lisa, Thank you for supporting us all and being so kind and positive.
Wishing you a happy Christmas & the very best for 2025 xx
Haven
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