broken …again :(

[Worrywart]

hi im back again ….thought i would be okay bumping (who i haven’t seen face to face or spoke to since we split up) into ex over local shop ..but im not! 🙁 i was with my boy and he said hey there’s dad! i was in the shop at the time but i never looked around to look at him…i just couldn’t he never spoke to me but he talked to our boy and gave him some money ….even tho i never seen him i still felt like crying and was very anxious ….nearly (detail removed by moderator) months on and im still scared that if i see him i will break down i feel so defeated now 🙁

[Restorergirl]

Any chance of turning your back to him when you meet or looking away when he’s chatting to your son?

[Worrywart]

hi restorergirl …i just walked off so i couldnt make eye contact with him but was still upset

[KIP.]

Hey worry wart. There’s no such thing as a coincidence when it comes to abusers. Use this as a reminder of the harm he did to you. It’s the trauma resurfacing and triggering your emotions. I was a wreck the first time I saw him after his arrest. I was a shaking wreck. It’s normal. Just be careful it’s not part of the hoovering and watch out for contact from him. Keep your defences up. Tomorrow will be better x

[Worrywart]

hi KIP …thanks i needed to hear that the strange thing is i haven’t thought about him at all over the last few months but just lately i have been thinking about him and then today ….well you know the rest x

[KIP.]

Well done for walking away. He’s not welcome in your life and if you just keep sending that message out there it’s your way of saying f.you. You don’t deserve to be in my life and you’re not welcome. After the way he’s treated you he wants you to engage so that his behaviour is ignored and he feels validated. Don’t give him the satisfaction. They always try to come creeping back in like a nasty toxic smell. They like to have someone in the background to fall back onto. You need to keep that smell out your life x

[Author]

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