Called police when Hubby tried heating me

[StrengthfromAbove]

I called the police but dropped the call. However, it went through and now I regret calling them. 😭😭

[StrengthfromAbove]

I received a callback from the police and they said they are coming to my house because they heard a man and a woman shouting when I tried calling. I’m so scared really don’t want this

[brokendreams]

I understand how you feel hun,
But don’t be scared, at least the police are concerned about you,
Subconsciously you called them because you needed help, I know it’s scary, but you being assaulted isn’t right.

I can’t say what you need to do, as I myself am thinking of taking my bf back, but that was because I was let down by the authorities.

Take a deep breath and remember they only want to help, and keep posting, sending hugs x*x

[godschild]

Hi, they always have to attend if it is DV , even if you say you are ok as the Perpertrator may be making you say that. If they hear anything on the call it makes it more of a need to attend, they may ask one of you to leave for a while or write it off as a domestic. xx

[StrengthfromAbove]

Thanks brokendreams and godchild. They’ve not been and it’s been over 2hrs since they called. It’s all quiet now, although I’m just asking myself why can’t I be brave and leave this prison I call home. He will never change and I feel stuck because SS will get involved as all my children are quite young. Also I don’t want him to lose his profession. He really worked hard for it.

[Ayanna]

Why do you protect him?
You are so bonded to him, you forget about your own needs.
Your need is to live a life full of happiness in freedom from abuse.
What does it matter if he loses his job? What does it matter if he becomes homeless? What does it matter if he has nothing to eat?
It does not matter.
Because he does not care about you.
Please speak to Women’s Aid. Get a DV worker who supports you and makes plans with you how you can get out. A Women’s Aid worker can help you with the SS.
Getting through this is better than facing a life full of misery.
Keep posting!

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Strengthfromabove, maybe you need to treat this as the catalyst to start your departure. With my emotional abuser most of the time I felt highly confused, anxious, scared, controlled, belitted and blamed…………….without him, most of the time i feel joyful, competent, relaxed, calm and peaceful. There is a great life out there, you just have to break through some unpleasantness to reach it. You will have all of the support and answers here. X*X

[godschild]

Hi, they may still come , if they are very busy they may even leave it until tommorow, I had this happen once they had an incident and were busy but came the next day, they said they always have to check on calls like this, even hours afterwards x

[StrengthfromAbove]

Thanks ladies.

I think i have trauma bond with my husband because i feel he’s all i got here. I have no family here in the UK. Have no friends too as he has managed to really seclude me from ever forming any relationship whats ever. Im struggling to finish my degree, can’t find because my confidence is just not there. I sonetimes see myself breaking away from him but i sure don’t have any strength in me.

Police have just been and i told them i felt threatened, thats why i called cos he tried to hit me. They took my children’s details and asked me if i want him to leave the house and i said no, he can stay cos i was already in bed and all is calm no

Well i think i spoke too soon cos he just insulted me now and called me all sorts of names and how unfit i am as a mother. Well talk of a father who doesn’t do anything in this house. When i say nothing, i mean zilch!! Im the one does everything in this house. Bathing kids, cooking, homework, kids activities. All he does is setting rules and regulations in this house picking on everything thats not in line with his so called rules. Im truly drained but hopeful that i will find help for me and my kids to live a happy life.

[StrengthfromAbove]

At the beginning of the year i was all positive thinking i can leave. I went to my GP n asked for supporting information so i can go and appy for housing. GP wrote a letter and I drove myself to a different council but just couldn’t do it. Why is it so hard to leave??

[godschild]

Hi, I thought they would turn up, its typical for them to start again when the police leave, call them back if he gets too much and have him taken away.
He is having a go at you because he does not like the police being called, they project what they are ie a bad father onto you, have you spoken to WA x*x

[StrengthfromAbove]

Also i think my fear is that he knows how to articulate himself well. Also i feel ill be hitting a brick wall as my hubby knows how to take people to court wothout needing a lawyer to represent him n he always wins. I just feel he’ll tear me apart in court over the kids.

[StrengthfromAbove]

HI Godschild, I’ve called WA before but never followed up with my appointment. I have a lovely neighbour who has also called them on my behalf before.

[godschild]

Do try to follow up the appointment they will help you and give you support and strength xxxx

[Ayanna]

You can speak about your concerns in the same way you voice them here about the abuser.

The police and WA, everybody will listen.
You can say that you cannot articulate yourself so well and he takes advantage of that. That is legitimate to say.
You are a victim of abuse.
It takes us a while to find our voice and to put the things they do to us into words.

I am still not able to put into words properly what a professional did to me last year. Writing down helps a lot. I write on those things a lot, change them around and think over them a lot. At some point they come together as I want to express them.

[KIP.]

If you can start keeping a secret diary of events and photograph any injuries. Secretly record if it’s safe. Keep abusive texts and emails. At least this will be evidence when things get worse. You can speak to a solicitor. Most do a free half hour. A non molestation court order might be needed to keep him away initially. Make no mistake, he will punish you one way or another for calling the police. Be careful x

[Confused123]

Hey Hunb

just log it all when they speak with u , i know u dont feel it now but this will protect u in long run

[brokendreams]

Hi hun, been thinking about you, did the police show?
As for being afraid to leave, having nobody but him, I was the same, it’s only been a couple of days that I got rid, I’m lonely as have no friends or family, but the abusive escalated, and I couldn’t deal with it mentally or physically, and like the other ladies said, he won’t stop xxxx

[StrengthfromAbove]

Thanks everyone for all your advise. I have lots of evidence, including pictures n recordings of his outbursts and intimidation towards me, all tucked nicely in my email as he has a habit of breaking my phones, laptop etc.

Since this happened he has not stopped. He has even taken the car keys so I’m unable to drive anywhere I want to go. But I’m tired of this viscous cycle of him taking things from me, because I think it’s his way of controlling me n being my master. So yesterday me n the kids walked to the shops n came back by bus n my kids really enjoyed as we r not allowed to take walks n for my other 2 kids, it was a first time for them being on a bus n they were so happy too.

Well, the response I got was that I’m not a responsible mum😳What if we the kids got runned over while we were walking😳😳😳 From what I know kids like adventures n this was one of them haa! Now he has realised that I was not bothered by him taking the car from me. He now wants the phone he bought me as a present. Really can’t win, I guess he wants to have the last lough.

Brokendreams, the police came dear n hope you’re recovering well Hun. Praying for you. I know the future will be bright, just need to open ourselves to possibilities. Xx

[KIP.]

He’s trying to scare you that the world is a big dangerous place so that you won’t go out again. My ex tried these tactics and I fell for them for a long time. Had agorophobia. Don’t fall for his lies. As you say, the kids had a great time. He doesn’t want you to be independent of him. That’s his stupid way of trying to control you.

[StrengthfromAbove]

I KNOW KIP

Well I’m not falling for that anymore! I’ve lived isolation for way too long, it’s time for me and my kids to live a happy life. A life without an angry being n like you said KIP, it’s all about control. Thanx dear xx

[Author]

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