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Something happened between me and my partner, and now he has (detail removed by moderator) cameras up around our house. (detail removed by moderator) outside, and (detail removed by moderator) in the house. (Detail removed by moderator) in other places that he thinks I`m unaware of. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Is this normal behavior ? One time before I went to the bathroom, and he was like where you at ? He told me the other day not to be wearing (detail removed by moderator) to work. He also thinks if you do something to hurt a person that they have the right to put their hands on you for it. He says things like (detail removed by moderator). He also goes through my phone, and emails whenever he feels like he needs to. Is that normal behavior ?
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No this is not normal!!! This is very controlling and manipulative. I would recommend you read Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft to understand more about controlling behaviour. You can find it free online.
Please understand that this is not your fault. The abuse is all about the abuser. You have done nothing to deserve this. Also most people who ‘re abused minimise the abuse in their heads, so it’s no surprise that you’re asking whether it’s abuse.
You’ve started your journey to freedom by posting here. If that thought is scary, dont worry. You dont have to do anything until you’re ready.
Another thing, dont tell your partner that his behaviour is abuse. I found myself and have read here many times that the abuser will use it against you e.g. accuse you of abuse or increase the abuse for fear that you’re going to leave. And when you are ready to leave, dont pre warn him. Do it while he’s out because leaving is the most dangerous time.
Sending love xxxx
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He sounds very controlling and manipulative and dangerous. Do you have a local women’s aid or domestic abuse charity you can contact? Is his gun even legal? I think you should try to leave to a family member or friend and don’t tell him where or when you’re going. The fact he has a gun must be very intimidating for you. Please talk to the police about having the gun removed. You can say it’s for his own welfare. It’s not safe for you to be there x
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Hello, putting cameras up to monitor you is extremelly controlling and wrong.
Sorry, wasn’t sure what you meant about the gun? Is it locked away?
I don’t want to scare you but I’d be very careful if he has a firearm. As ISOpeace says don’t confront him about his abusive behaviour as he’ll only deny it, probably twist it round onto you and things could escalate.
It’s best to contact Women’s aid or the NDA helpline for support and advice x
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