Can someone help please? Need serious advice

[survivorandproud]

So it’s been quiet for a while as the police went down to see my ex partner and it definitely scared him away, which is great!

I’ve just been to a festival this weekend and I received a message from a random number saying ‘I miss you more and more everyday’ obviously I had my suspicions it was my ex partner. When we got back from the music my friend just rang the number, and it was him. She quickly put the phone down. I don’t know if he now has a new phone or two phones. Evidently the police going to see him hasn’t stopped him, he must of found out I was away and he’s wanted to ruin my time to get in my head.

When I got back I obviously informed my Mam and she went behind my back and inboxed his Mam saying how he’s a domestic abuser etc and I just thought she made us look crazy, another reason why he can s**g me off and tarnish my name.i know my Mam is just having my back but I just went off it with her, it is bringing more drama on to me when I just want this over with, my anxiety is already horrendous and it’s made it so much worse.

Anyways, I rang the police as they told me to inform them of any contact from him. I am making another statement and now I’m just confused, I didn’t want to take it to court because of the long process but now I’m thinking should I? He’s got away with so much in terms of abuse and criminal damage. Can someone just help me please? I feel like I have no one

[freedomtochoose]

Hello there didn’t want to read and run.
I haven’t been in your particular situation and I know we are all different.
I would say though that the mistake I think some people make in supporting us is that they don’t realise that after so much time of being disempowered, we need to take the power back and feel empowered.

You need to be in charge of what happens. So whatever you decide with court, dig deep and try to find that which would help you and help you feel more powerful.
Sorry can’t offer anything more useful but I’m sure other ladies might be able to help out more with the detail.

ftc
x

[KIP.]

Having been in a similar position please report every single incident and go to court of you have to. There is lots of support from victim support and the witness service and sadly police and court intervention is often the only way to keep these men out of our lives. Your mum is triggering your anxiety as any contact with abusers or anyone close is triggering. Your mum could also be charged with harassment so please speak to her when you are calm of ask an officer to speak to her. The last thing you want is to give him ammunition to fire back. Remember your mum is only doing what she thinks is best. I had to ask my whole family to have zero contact which they did. Also you can get support from your local women’s aid. There is a great anti stalking helpline, the helpline on here is great. Victim support helpline too so please reach out for support. It’s out there. I even rang the Samaritans more than once. My ex had chance after chance to leave me alone and just wouldn’t respect my boundaries at all. It also empowered me to take back control. It’s my life and I can decide who I allow access to it x

[Ayanna]

Yes, stick to your statement and take him to court.
He needs to learn the hard way to leave you alone.
It is for your safety now and in the future.

[Author]

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