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    • #135325
      Bestchance07
      Participant

      Hello all,
      me again! I have had a frustrating week so far of trying to arrange alternative accomodation as living in the (detail removed by moderator) whilst he has the rest of the house. Between my solicitor, my local domestic abuse support worker and myself, we have formulated a plan of escape but things keep falling through and people have let me down with offers of places to stay. So I am looking at renting whilst this mess is sorted but I am banging my head against a brick wall in terms of finances. And what has triggered the tears at 4am is that my youngest woke up and came down for a cuddle, but only being in a single bed he couldnt squidge in for a cuddle so went upstairs to his Dad instead. And so I started filling out another form for something or other and it is asking for a next of kin. Thats a problem. I have no family alive apart from my kids and a distant (detail removed by moderator). Ordinarily I would of put my ex. My best friend lives b****y miles away too. Anyway the tears dont want to stop. I want a nice big bed, to cuddle my kids and not feel so b****y alone.

    • #135362
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hello Bestchance07,

      Sorry to hear that you are having what sounds like such a frustrating time at the moment with your plans falling through and being let down by others. I imagine this is leaving you feeling very powerless.

      It must be difficult to maintain your strength and perseverance when the environment is so far from what you need at the moment.

      It sounds like you have some good support in place and I hope things take a turn for the better for you soon.

      Take care and keep posting,
      Lisa

    • #135438
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Hi Bestchance07

      I wish I could have seen your post when you posted it in hopes of sending you some cheer for your bleak moment. It is heartbreaking, but surely temporary? I am sorry you have been so let down and feeling isolated from those you hold dear. Would you be able to lodge with your best friend, although many miles away? One friend is worth more than hundreds of strangers, including the once partner you share your ‘home’ with your chidren.

      Keep looking love, and savour every precious moment with your children. That love is stronger than anything else and has pulled so many women through their darkest hours.

      warmest wishes ts

      • #135671
        Bestchance07
        Participant

        Thsnks for this Twisted Sister. I ended up taking the kids and staying for the weekend, it was so relaxing but felt 10x worse returning.
        Thanks for the kind words. Its definetly a rollercoaster x

    • #135675
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      thats brilliant to hear, that you got away for a break all together. so pleased for you, but yes, sad that going back is so hard. It shows you and the children the stark difference between one life and the other and how things could be i suppose.

      you take care, and take all the breaks away that you can, they are food for the soul, and you all need that so much x

    • #135677
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Hi Bestchance07

      I posted a really long reply to your original post but often they don’t seem to save. I’m so sorry it didn’t go through.

      I’m glad to see that you managed to get away for the weekend. It is always such a relief to be away but as you say, 10x harder to go back. I used to cry when I had to go back.

      I’ll be thinking of you, my lovely. It’s such as tough time for you right now. One day, this struggle will all be history.

      Try to stay strong and please do use the forum. There is usually a wealth of support here but Christmas can be a difficult time for all of us and things can go a little quiet when alot of us are struggling.

      Hang on in there and please keep posting.

      I was just wondering if you’ve looked into refuge?

      • #135681
        Bestchance07
        Participant

        Thanks Eggshells.
        Its awful. I feel so unwell with the stress of it all.
        Neither of my children want to live with me, their Dad has booked (removed by moderator) of expensive days out and adventures without me. It just feels like torture right now.
        I am struggling with emergency housing as I have my name on the property with my ex, I am leaving of my own free will and I am not in any immediate danger. I live in a rural area too, my nearest refuge is a long way away

    • #135682
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      hi again,

      I am concerned about your situation, you have a domestic abuse support worker, and a solicitor, yet the council deem you not to be in any risk?

      You live with an abuser, that putsyou all at risk, and noone of them knows when that risk could suddenly escalate. I don’t understand.

      What is your support worker saying regarding your housing?

      warmest wishes ts

      • #135683
        Bestchance07
        Participant

        Twisted Sister,

        I am waiting to hear back from the Support Worker ATM. She doesnt work every day and I had to work quickly this week as the property came up (removed by moderator) and is the only thing I will be ever able to afford, subject to universal credit.

        I did have an emergency house to go to so I could get out with the kids if I needed, but this has recently fallen through so I have yet to speak to her.

    • #135698
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      oh good luck xx Keeping every crossed for you xx

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