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    • #37121

      Everything’s on go at the minute. Very stressful times.

      Life is all safety planning, emergency bags, applying to move to various locations around the country just in case.

      So conflicted about the idea of moving again. So so conflicted and struggling so much right now. Can’t believe I’m here again and this is my life. Still. When does it end? When can I just be free and not have to think about safety plans, emergency bags and escape plans? I don’t even know if I want to leave…maybe I do for a fresh start somewhere new and exciting? Don’t know. I won’t know until after this is all done.

      Not long now.

    • #37131
      shine bright 2

      Just wanted to send love. Its hard isnt it. I dug my heals in abou staying but now Im thinking that was wrong. New start sound good…but u have to do whats right for u u have been strong and ur strong.

    • #37153

      I know exactly what you mean, I would like a fresh start, some where near the sea to breath in that sea air, away from the madness, away from my abuser, away from his smear campaign, somewhere no one knows (or think they know) what has happened, but scared also as I’m unsure if it will be the right thing to do for my daughter, am I running away or leaving because it is best for many other reasons as well? I feel traumatised when I think of him, but to her he’s lazy dad that loses it sometimes and she loves him, I’m so very tired of constantly feeling I need to watch out for what he’s doing when he has her and then step in to protect her if needed – and round we go. Can see only too well now how she will also confuse love and abuse in later life, another good reason to get her away. Suppose if all goes well we wont look back, but if it becomes a slow process to integrate ourselves this will fill me with self doubt and guilty feelings if my daughter complains. Then there’s the issue will he give up? Or will I get a contact order through the post? Your situation sounds like it’s essential as you fear for your lives – have I read that right?

    • #37224

      Sending hugs to you both aswell. xox

      I wish I could write exactly what’s going on…but I can’t 🙁 It makes everything harder because I can’t tell people exactly what’s happening.
      Being as vague as possible (Lisa please edit if it’s not vague enough) (detail removed by Moderator)
      I’m certain he knows where I live – despite fleeing before – so if things get worse, I may have to flee again.
      If he gets in here, he will kill me. And probably my child too.

      Fizzy – the sea sounds amazing. It conjures up wistful fantasies in my head about a new life by the sea. I love the sea. It’s so calming and peaceful <3
      Do you think you’ll ever do it?

    • #37225

      Hi LBP,

      You’ve done so well and kept on going for so long.

      There will be freedom for you in the future. You are a resilient and strong woman and you can get through this.

      I haven’t moved, as I am tied to the house for the present- but I wouldn’t want to move away from my friends right now anyway.

      What I have done is try to implement new changes, to help me feel like I am living a different life than when with him and a healthier one.

      So, I’ve got the kids involved in outside projects and activities, I’ve changed My diet, I go to the gym, I allow myself to enjoy activities outside the home.

      Ironically, I am getting back to how I was, the old me, before the abuse took its toll. The kids can now also engage in things without him trying to sabotage their successes.

      If you can’t end up moving away, you can restructure your life. It can be a full and varied life, not a limited life ( as with him).

      Of course, I do realise that it takes time to get to this stage. After all, fit two years I was so agoraphobic, I hated leaving home. I had daily panic attacks. But this shows how far we can come, with the right support.

    • #37252
      Twisted Sister

      oh Pheonix how very hard for you… my goodness.. its such a tough call, and only you can make it. Is this because of the ‘friend’ was who interested a while back, who knows him? Anyway, don’t be tempted to give any detail you are not comfortable with, and just how awful; so sorry to hear you are facing moving again 🙁


      do whatever you feel necessary to be safe, you both. I wish you every strength to get through this, the best way you know how x*x

      warmest wishes KS xx

    • #37294

      It is a good idea to move to a new place. (detail removed by moderator) ….

    • #37625

      HI LBP

      Sorry all of this is happening and with the trial coming up. I haven’t been back to my hometown since leaving my husband and it’s been a few years.

      I also have not gotten very involved with men. Still no men come to my flat or know where I work.

      I’m doing ok trying to focus on my recovery. You have to focus on your survival and your child’s survival now. Any sort of romantic relationships are not going to help your situation at the moment.

      All the best. keep us updated on how you are coping. We are always here for you.

    • #37632

      ..just reading through your post LBP, safety for your child and yourself comes before any other thoughts. I hope soon you will find a safe home and peace of mind, for you both. Hugs

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