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Some years back when I met my ex husband I was forced in to geting married to him from him giveing me abusive and being very violent towards me . I was very scared and I had no one in my life I could ask for help . I suffered days of my ex husband hitting me makeing bruses on my body gave me truma to to my body I went thought hell with him after everything he put me thought physically and mentally I managed to run away from him . But what I went thought still stays at the back of my mind
I met my partner and I am going thought such alot with him over the years I’ve not had a break of haveing abuse physically and mentally also being abused .
I always think to my self why do I deserve to be treated like this in my life . I always gave all my heart to him never once I was bad to him or even been horrible to him . I always been the loveing careing lady I am and I still get disrespected by him he sometimes makes me feel worseless at times.
My partner has a problem that I was married before he gives me abusive about it and he dont like it I have to do this and that and put down that I was married he makes a issue about it and I dont understand why his doing this going mental or because I was married before it affects my partner alot but why does it affect him because I left my ex husband years ago . My partner talks about my ex husband but I dont wish to talk about him or even try and remember being forced to get married in the first place .
For example if I class my self as a miss or mrs which ever it maybe I dont see what is the problem
And why it affects my partner if I class my self as a miss I am not married to my partner but he wats me to be a mrs still as I’ve been with him for years it’s like we are married but not on paper. If I tell people I am a miss he goes mental at me and gives me abusive. He says it hurts him if I class my self as a miss it hurts him I was married. Being a miss or mrs is just the initials of any lady out there . I am with him so he should repect that and not make a problem what my initials are .does anyone understand this I hope you dont mind me talking out it’s just on my mind .i feel he is controling me I think it’s just silly how my initials affect him so bad ?Thank you for careing and advice
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Hi my beautiful Angel… Rosemary,
I am sadden to hear of your experience with these men.
It seems that you have poured your heart into them and they have not return this to you. You have also not returned this love to yourself, but it is never to late to start.
Start today with some self care. I know it is not easy when you live with an abuser as they seem to consume everything. However even start with just a few extra minutes when you go to the bathroom, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are not alone and you are now going to take care of you. If you can tell yourself, I love you and give yourself a smile.
Affirmations and mantras also help, just start to notice your internal voice and amend it to a positive when it is being negative. Say positive things to yourself over and over in your head… your partner can’t hear these words.
I know it only seems like small steps, but these lead to big changes. You are wasting your time wanting and wishing him to change.. the only person you can change is you and by changing you will change your situation.
Speak to women’s aid or the domestic abuse helpline to get some advice on getting a plan together to leave and start to visulise the life you deserve, it will not change unless you change.
Sending you love and support
Darcy xx -
Hello Darcy
Thank you for careing bless you. It deffainaly not easy to put negative in to a positive even thoe I try so hard when my partner gets me down he makes me feel that I am not worth loveing he makes me feel that I deserve the treatment he gives me why I feel like that because I’ve had years of abusive in my life and this is all I now its horrible. I usually find it hard to pour my heart out in to words I was really down and depressed and all sorts of negatives things on my mind. It’s not easy to love my self and tell my self I am beautiful . I stick up for my self my partner dont like it . I take your advice and try and tell my self that I love me and I worth something.
It’s only me that can change my life I wish it would be so simple i have worrys on my mind . I did talk to women aid refuge i was worrying about my things that I need from my house if I go to refuge I was told I cant come back for my things I have sentimental things at my home and I could not leave them behind.i need to ask women aid more questions if I could come back for my things after but get me support so my partner not near me My I am not going to live in an abusive relationship the rest of my life as its makeing me so poorly .like you said If I do this step by step and try and think positive things will lighten at the end of that tunnel. Thank you for sending me your thoughts and love I appreciate it Darcy.
Sending you hugs xx
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