Car Crash Part 2

[BakingQueen]

Hi Ladies, Need to get this off my chest.

Some of you may have seen my last post. My abusive ex got into a car crash not too long ago and almost died. I asked you ladies for advice on if I should go and visit in hospital and against all your good wishes, I went and showed up. We share a son and I wanted to be the bigger person.

I was able to reconcile with his family and even explain to his dad what lead me to go no contact. Not so much using the words abuse – I dont know why I am hiding it from them but I guess it’s because I dont think they will believe me. When I saw him in hospital he said all these lovely things and I thought he might have changed.

Anyway, he was recently discharged and I went to visit him with our son – he is living with relatives at the moment until he fully recovers. We said we would talk and we did. While speaking to him I realised that he hasnt changed at all. He was still justifying the physical violence I experienced in the relationship, (detail removed by moderator) Well boy am I disappointed. Completely wasted days and days over thinking all the things I wanted to say to him in the hopes he would be a different person.

Even though I dont want him I made sure I looked really pretty so he could see just what he was missing and how much he messed up. I see it now, still trying to appease the horrible person. He even talked about his new gf, poor lady, already has her begging to be with him. Apparently she doesnt like me, I reckon he is playing her off against me. Making her feel insecure so she gets all clingy.

So I guess what I want to know is how can I stop him from further abusing me? He will revert to using our son to control me via turning up late and blaming his new injuries for it. Has anyone out there ever had an ex just move on and abuse someone else and be left alone? Even with kids? Now I just wish he would disappear again.

Thanks Ladies. x

[KIP.]

Zero or minimum contact. Hand over via a third party. Contact order in place so if he messes you around he answers to court. You drop off and collect if you can to retain control. His behaviour won’t change. Mine too used his new gf. Stringing her along while trying to get me to reconcile (he cheated) then telling me how wonderful she was when five minutes ago he was going to dump her. They lie, twist, gaslight, manipulate, blame us. I believe we are always targets for them. You will never get closure. He will always blame you. Your mental health will be badly affected with contact too.

[freedomtochoose]

well said KIP.
All I can add is that it does get easier with time with the things suggested.
all best and sorry you had to go through this.
FTC
x

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