Caught again :(

[Louloubee]

So it’s nearly 6 and I’ve not slept a wink… Thought come on here.
(Detail removed by moderator)
This is why I ended it(detail removed by moderator) ago anyway (going out) so he mentioned he will be changing his number (strange) alarm bells start ringing…. I been here before with hin… He has another woman he’s talking to or something!! My anxiety is through the roof at this point as I know something is wrong. I tell him this and ask him to leave me alone! Yet again he begs and pleads I ignore hin….. (detail removed by moderator) and I check his phone …..and bingo there she is! It’s a relief I was not going crazy!!! But it hurts so bad :(( but I feel it’s closure too why why why do it to me x

[KIP.]

The horrible truth is he enjoys hurting you. He doesn’t care for you or love you. He uses you for what he can get from you. Each time he c9mes back into your life it’s for his own selfish reasons. He will never change and is a liar. He’s changing his number because he probably has more than one other woman he’s cheating on. He’s toxic and it’s important you block him. Perhaps ask your GP for some counselling. There are often reasons why we are so attached to abusers. Sometimes there is co dependency or even a history of abuse. Ignore him and work on yourself x

[Survivor123]

The sad thing with this is ,the other woman,she will be in the exact same place as you are right now.
Where do you see yourself in a year or two,still hanging on to the same person or would you like to see yourself living a better life and I’m not saying in another relationship but feeling better about yourself,more confident and happy.
Staying stuck in this rut is not going to be good for you live your life and have fun.

[Louloubee]

He’s telling me that ok so now what regarding this other woman? And also ok she’s in my phone what does that mean? And why am I giving him a hard time!!!! Omg is this guy for real????? I feel IM going insane! I changed my phone number 💔

[Hetty]

He will never change. These men want puppets on a string. They need an ever supply of attention to keep them feeling ok. A healthy functional relationship is not possible. They say they’ll change blah blah blah. All lies to regain their power over you.

[Louloubee]

Will I ever get over this? Please hekpm 😢

[KIP.]

Yes you absolutely will get over this. He has brain washed and programmed you to feel this way. You need to stick to zero contact, no matter how painful it is. It’s like an addiction and if you stay away it will get easier the longer you stay zero contact. Abuse messes with our heads. We Craven them and their validation but he doesn’t have the answer to your happiness x

[Anonymous]

Hi Louloubee

Zero contact is the only way, though it will be emotionally challenging as he will try all number of tactics and sob stories to get your attention. I’ve ignored numerous letters from my abusive father but that doesn’t stop him sending them, each more degrading that the previous one. Keep strong 🙂 Deciding to go zero contact is a big decision, so well done for taking that step 🙂 These other women will eventually see him for what he is too. Wishing you a more restful sleep tonight.

[Hetty]

You WILL get over this. As others have said zero contact is the only way. Think of it like ripping a plaster off. Hurts like hell but saves drawn out suffering. Dark days pass I promise you. I’ve been here before. Literally pacing the floors of my house in floods of tears. It’s part of your healing. You can do this. You will be happy again, you’ve just got to get through this period. It’s true that time is a great healer but the only way out us through.
Can you call someone to talk to or get some company ❤️

[Louloubee]

Hi thanks all not had a good day I’ve been in work and just wanted to cry throughout my shift got in my car and it all came out . I’ve been abused for do long and it’s finally got home I was with a N********t all these years I really loved him I still do . I have to do this this is the 3rd girl it breaks my heart why does he do it am I that bad? God it hurts I don’t like to bother ppl I feel they are fed up of it but this time is for real all his things have gone from my home . My numbers changed and I deleted every single fake photo I had of us it really did hurt doing that thou 🙁 hope these dark days don’t last long my anxiety is hurrendous I can’t breathe and I can’t eat either I hope o sleep tonight! Do I call WA tommoro? What do I say to them?? Do I need there help now? Even tho I’ve took those steps? 💔

[Hetty]

Yes call them. Even though he’s gone you need support to heal. Coming out of an abusive relationship is really hard and you need support. Don’t minimise what he’s put you through. They can help you find the support you need to get through this hard time. Just tell them what’s happened and how you’re feeling now.
I know it can feel difficult talking to people you know, like they’ve heard it all before. The truth is that it takes us many attempts to finally free ourselves. You’ve been so brave.
You’ve done amazing to get to work and make it through your shift. Perhaps confide in someone senior at work so they can help you.

[Louloubee]

Thankyou I wish I felt brave and that IM doing amazing. I did email them Friday I will call them tomorrow could I take a friend with me ? Will they want to see me? Sorry to go on I just feel so lost and alone… It’s only my third shift so I don’t want to tell anyone what IM going through just yet 😢

[KIP.]

Try to ring the helpline number on here. They will listen to you and help going forward. It does get easier.

[Iwantmeback]

Louloubee, this is not your fault. These men are wired wrong. Their values are so skewed, I promise once you go no contact, it will hurt less and less. you are so much stronger than you realise, and once that strength shines through, you’ll be amazing
IWMB 💞💞

[Hetty]

I can’t see why you couldn’t take a trusted friend. I preferred to go in to see someone but I guess you can talk on the phone and then take it from there. It’s important you get the right support and you feel comfortable.

[Author]

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