11th January 2019 at 5:10 pm #70507
Does anyone know if there’s a way I can change my child’s surname without her biological father being involved? I know he would never allow me to do it because he see’s the name as a label of ownership (never mind that he hasn’t seen her since she was a baby because he wasn’t safe). She has asked to change it because she wants to be like her sisters, we use her preferred name where possible, but it always upsets her at the doctor’s etc when they use her birth name and they won’t change it without court documents.
11th January 2019 at 5:44 pm #70511WhenwillifindhappinessParticipant
Sorry I don’t have any answers but would like to invade this thread so someone could tell me too. Again he would not let me change my child’s name because he too sees it as a label but he hasn’t seen him and won’t be for the foreseeable future
11th January 2019 at 5:46 pm #70512[email protected]Participant
I saw a post earlier today, saying that if dv is involved you can change the child’s name. The first port of call might be CAB xx DIY
11th January 2019 at 5:55 pm #70513IwantmebackParticipant
Until the powers that be change this, all I can say is use the name she wants to until she’s old enough to change it legally. As long as there’s no defrauding being done, she can be called whatever she wants, it can be changed through a solicitor when she’s older, ie legally an adult.. She can ask her friends to call her by the surname she wants, teachers CAN call her that too, ie she wants to be known as the family name you all sheets, but for their records she’s still the fathers name. but unfortunately it has to be the one on her birth certificate until she’s older, or the government puts a law through parliament regarding this. Maybe something to lobby mps on in the future. 💜💪
11th January 2019 at 5:58 pm #70514
Thanks DIY, I will try that. I asked at the deed poll place and they said I needed a signed letter from him. Well that’s not going to happen given that he isn’t supposed to know where we are 🙄
11th January 2019 at 6:00 pm #70515
IWMB: that’s what I was afraid of. She is so distraught about it though. School are very good and use the name she wants but the doctor just refuses even though she is clearly upset and refusing treatment because of it.
11th January 2019 at 8:08 pm #70526LisaMain Moderator
Thanks for your post. There is information about this on the Rights Of Women’s website here. It states that if you are not able to obtain the permission of the child’s biological father you need to make an application to Court for a ‘Specific Issue Order’.
I’m sorry this may not be what you want to hear,
11th January 2019 at 9:37 pm #70528KIP.Participant
7. Changing a child’s name when the mother has good reason for not wanting to contact the father for his consent
To change a child’s surname by where the father’s whereabouts is known, we usually need either the father’s consent or a court that gives the mother permission to change her child’s name without the father’s consent. However, if the mother has good reason for not wanting to contact the father for his consent, it may be possible to change her child’s surname without the father’s consent or a court order. Examples of situations where we will accept a Deed Poll application from a mother in such circumstances are:
The mother has fled the family home to escape violence or abuse from the father and is at risk or fearful of being located.
The mother is fearful of contacting the father because of past abuse (physical or mental) towards her or her children.
The father is in prison for a serious offence such as murder, rape or other sexual offence and the mother and children do not wish to be associated by name to the father.
Where a court has issued a No Contact order or a Non-molestation order.
12th January 2019 at 8:45 pm #70580
Thanks KIP and Lisa, looks like a CAB solicitor is a good first point of call, this may be possible. It will certainly make her happy.
20th January 2019 at 8:14 pm #71029StarsindarknessParticipant
Hope you get it sorted! I’m changing my son’s name however I got lucky because his father never bothered turning up when I got his birth certificate! I can’t even say my child’s last name it makes me feel physically sick
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