Charging decision from police

[Niddy]

I am (detail removed by moderator) from the police charging my ex with multiple offences against me, they tell me it’s a really good case and my ex will likely get a custodial sentence.
I’m terrified. I’m not sure what reaction will be a result of my ex having that letter in their hand.

My ex has been peddling his propaganda machine in the area we live. Saying that for no reason I won’t let him see our child. (Actually this wasn’t my decision but the family courts children’s service) He has systematically targeted all of my friends and family, trying to threaten the few people I trust.

It’s very lonely because I darent make new friends, partly because he will find out and target them but partly because I can’t begin the explain the depths to which this has affected me as a person.

So every night I fall to sleep exhausted then spend most of the night awake dreaming about or reliving things.
I’ve had counselling but can’t continue it or move forward as all the police stuff and court visits re traumatise me.

I’m so frustrated because it feels like I can’t help myself or my family move on. Everyone prefers the happy smiley version of me (where they didn’t know what I was going through) and everyone I care about is bored of this now.

Just a moan really.

[Anonymous]

I hear you! We moved away from my friends and family and I’m stuck here for now. (Detail removed by moderator) and everyone knew what was going on. I couldn’t make friends here and now he’s gone, feel totally lost. Still waiting on a charging decision more than (detail removed by moderator). I’m just living day to day right now, but trying to enjoy the simple things. Even watching what I want on tv or planting what I want in the garden are such luxuries. It’s all about time. You’ll get through this. And at some point you’ll begin to heal and make a new life x*x

[KIP.]

Don’t give up on counselling. Now is when you need it most. I missed out on crucial trauma counselling early on because I was told I was going through the court process. It’s simoly not true. You can have counselling to help deal with the effects of the trauma. It will help in dealing with flashbacks and nightmares when they do occur. Wanting to talk was part of my PTSD. I drove my friends and family mad.i was even telling a cashier in a shop. That was when I needed good counselling. Not a very king time later because of an ongoing court case. I used to phone the Samaritans just to talk to someone and get it off my chest. Regarding relationships, try working on the ones you already have. Building them back up. Try to start a hobby or fitness class that brings you out but you get pleasure from. It’s very typical of an abuser to bad mouth us. He is trying to discredit you before the truth comes out. Ignore him. He’s only setting himself up for a bigger fall. Make sure you have bail conditions that suit you. Talk to the officer in the case about a police marker on your home and get support from women’s aid. You can get through this. If I can do it after decades, at my age, then you can do it too. No experience is wasted if we learn from it. Keep posting x

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