Child arrangement and abusive dad

[J@jmum]

Any advise?
How to show he is no good. Do it the right way.
Not be seen as a liar.

[KIP.]

Cut him right out the loop. Arrange a contact order. Use a third party for all drop off and pick up. Use a third party for all contact. Maybe via email. Have absolutely zero direct contact with him. This shows everyone that you cannot trust him. Even that you are fearful. Keep a journal of all his contact. When he lets the kids down. How they appear after visiting. You need to build a picture. Keeping him out your life will show his true colours. Chances are he won’t like that and his abuse will become very apparent for everyone to see.

[diymum@1]

Make sure if the kids talk to any professionals ie wa,gp or counsellor that your not in the room and ask what’s written is in Sealed envelope signed on the fold by the professional. It shows this isn’t alienation this is an expert opinion direct from your child xx it hold water that way xx love diymum

[diymum@1]

It’s also confidential for the eyes of the judge only -if the kids are old enough they can submit their own diary to the judges this can be done in the same way xx kids don’t lie xx

[fizzylem]

I would say be mindful he will get contact, unless he is violent or sexually abusing her or there is severe neglect. So build your case around ‘safe contact’ – trying to go for no contact if he doesnt fall into the above is setting yourself up to fail and he can and will use this against you in court – his solicitor will love this.

DIYMum told me to read the Safe Not Sorry doc. a while back now, and I have to say it is a brilliant resource to draw from when building a case – use it – show it – refer to it. Hey DM!

Its ALL about the evidence J. If you don’t have the evidence if it’s only he says she says it will go nowhere.

Echoe the above, make the arrangement you have now the same terms you apply for in the order; little to no contcat at all with you x

[diymum@1]

also when dad hurts mum has a really good comprehensive couple of chapters on navigating the courts and even social services if needed xx

[diymum@1]

dad hurts mum by lundy bancroft xx it contains everything you need id say and its really positive – even tells you how to approach it all xx

[diymum@1]

also have a look at practice direction 12 j its the latest on the rights of your child and contact if you know your childs rights this is definitely key. these men going to court certainly demand theres xx

[Author]

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