- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 6 months ago by Twisted Sister.
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5th September 2018 at 1:02 pm #63622DropintheoceanParticipant
Hi so I was in an abusive relationship for quite a while and I got out a few months ago. We have children together and I managed to get a restraining order to protect myself. He can’t contact me in anyway or come to where I live… what I would like to know is how do we arrange child contact? I know it’s not my job to initiate it however a third party that I trust has asked if they could take the children to see him… is this allowed or does he have to go through courts or social services? I don’t have social services involved with us as they did a visit and decided that I was a good mother and the children were at no risk with me. They recommended before the restraining order that we tried to arrange contact between ourselves using a third party but does that change now the restraining order is in place? Any advice is appreciated and sorry if I’ve rambled a bit I hope this makes sense 😊
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6th September 2018 at 10:29 am #63650LisaMain Moderator
Hi there,
child contact is usually seen as an exception to a restraining order, but this has to be done in a safe way. If there is a restraining order in place, it may not be safe to facilitate any child contact. He has the right to take you to family court for contact. I would advise accessing some legal advice around this.
You can call Rights of Women on 0207 251 6577. This line is run by volunteer female solicitors and they can provide you with free legal advice over the phone.
Take care and keep posting
Best Wishes,
Lisa
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13th September 2018 at 3:07 pm #64028AnonymousInactive
Can I stop my ex showing up at school if my daughter is terrified of him? I have emailed the school and they wont take anything to do with the situation. I also emailed the lawyer and nothing back. It has been emotional abuse all along but is it because it isn’t physical or sexual? is that why they wont take me seriously. Also I never brought charges against him over the years. We have no contact agreement in place at all at the moment. Any advice would be good and sorry for the ranting.
Hugs to all.
J
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13th September 2018 at 3:44 pm #64030Twisted SisterParticipant
Maybe a letter from your GP would help them to better understand the effects on your child and that the arrangement is that you will be collecting every day, but without anything legal in place he is not legally restricted from being there.
If you speak to the ncdv helpline they can give you legal advice around obtaining a free order to protect you and the children.
Warmest wishes ts
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