Child contact

[Nutshake]

My children’s dad is verbally,emotionally and financially abusive, due to h8m being a key worker he is not living at the house cos of covid.
During this t8me he’s brought (detail removed by moderator) ( detail removed by moderator)
Dumped bags of washing outside the door with out even making a effort to speak to us, ignored one of the kids when they were trying to speak to him as he was annoyed that I didn’t (detail removed by moderator) his clothes quick enough that he rang to collect, he then started to rant that I’m a (detail removed by moderator) b****, sl*g , ect I think you can get the jist of the conversation while our (detail removed by moderator) old was stood there he then continued this over the phone shouting he would rather be dead then come near me.
He’s now acting like nothin* happened but rang my (detail removed by moderator) old and told him to find a new dad he’s not his dad.

Yesterday was eid ( dads Muslim) we have no contact with dads family ( don’t think they know we exist) or choose not to know more like. But he thinks I should hav3 made my son ring him to say happy eid.

Now I stand by the fact he’s the adult and owes son a apology at the least and he should ring him ? Am I wrong?

As this has now turned in to a full load of abuse again (detail removed by moderator) and my sons in tears as he’s again said find a new dad.

This is small compared to what he’s done in the past but he makes me question am I in the wrong.

 

 

 

[Wants To Help]

No, you’re not in the wrong at all. He sounds like a bad tempered, abusive bully. And to say that to his son is despicable. Are you strong enough to tell him to find someone else to do his washing and ironing and to stay away from the house if he can’t behave civilly?

He does owe his son an apology, but I doubt he’ll give one because what excuse can he possibly give to explain why he said what he did?! Any apology genuinely needs to come from him, so it’s no good you contacting him and telling him to apologise to your son. If you’re thinking of leaving him and this relationship for good, now is the time.

[diymum@1]

My intuition tells me and remember I’m looking in on the outside. An apology won’t cut this. Your son is (detail removed by moderator) he needs a good male role model. What your ex is teaching him is to disrespect women, misogynistic beliefs, to be racist xx you don’t want your child to feel rejected the effects can be indelible. Keep talking to your child make sure he knows this behaviour is wrong and this is nothing to do with him. Kids internalise. I know first hand because as a child my mum blamed me for her mental illness. She was ill at the time but I’ve never recovered from that because I believed as a child it was my fault. Get some legal advice I think you should stop contact on the basis of child abuse. I think you need to consider too that we do get conditioned by theses men and maybe your not seeing clearly how bad this is xx I really hope I’m not offending you but I do want to be honest. Without insinuating this is your fault or your sons as this is victim blaming xx the blame is on him only. You are sensible and non abusive you are the only o r who can protect you son xx get legal
Advice and advice from Womens aid xx if you need help I’m here as I’ve been through this and got a good out come xx 😘

Love diymum xx

 

 

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