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    • #49068
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      Only (detail removed by Moderator) I found myself having to go to the CMS as my son’s dad refused to pay maintenance. I’ve just had my review letter and he’s ‘forgotten’ to tell them about a rather large payrise he’s had so they’ve increased his payments (karma). However his maintenance is based on the number of nights he has our son. He’s not seen my son in months, doesn’t respond to his texts or calls.

      Do you think I should contact CMS and tell them he doesn’t see his son anymore? I’m scared to rock the boat at the mo because we’re trying to finalise (detail removed by Moderator) prior to the looooong awaited divorce. I’m just unsure if I should wait till he’s signed this agreement (it’s me that’s paying him a fortune btw).

    • #49092
      KIP.
      Participant

      Definately bring this up. He will take every penny he can from you and I have a feeling you cannot back date a claim so alert them asap. Doesn’t matter how you behave or if you rock the boat. He will take the shirt off your back if he can x

    • #49096
      Serenity
      Participant

      From experience, you holding off won’t make them any nicer. If anything, these abusers interpret it that you are scared to upset them and are still intimidated by them- so they continue to try to exert power.

      Yes, they might feel enraged if you go after your rights, but if it’s done through official channels, they can stomp their feet all they like.

      I wish I’d gone after Child Maintenance sooner. I was – like you- scared to rock the boat too much during my divorce. But he continue to be as horrible as he could anyway, and lies as much as its humanly possiblr for anyone to lie.

      I swear that they mock us for being too nice. My advice is, you’ve found out what he is: believe that this man- as KIP says- would take the shirt off your back ( and the food from your children’s mouths) just to feel like he’s the winner.

    • #49116
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      As soon as I read your replies the answer is obvious now. I’ll call them tomorrow. He didn’t pay for three yrs that’s why I had to use the CMS.

      Thank you ladies xxxx

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