This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  freesia 2 weeks, 3 days ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #85258
     freesia 
    Participant

    Hi not sure if i can post anything about child maintenance?!

  • #85263
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    yeh im sure you can xxxx

  • #85269
     freesia 
    Participant

    Hope i can,basically what it is i have a child with my ex partner our child is (detail removed by moderator) years old and he only paid child maintenance since like (detail removed by moderator) and since then was trying to play games with me basically just having laught at me for what hes been doing.Last year he worked just (detail removed by moderator) months(now i just realised why)and in the beginning of this year he told me that hes out of work and he can only pay me £(detail removed by moderator) weekly and if he finds a job he will pay the money he normally pay and will be making extra payment on (detail removed by moderator),for the time he wasnt at work.He has done it once paid as usuall and made extra pay but it wasnt from his account but his girlfriends.On (detail removed by moderator) he didnt send any money and i waited couple of days and msg him why he hasnt paid child maintenance i didnt get reply then i msg hin again and he msg me back (detail removed by moderator) that he hasnt seen this first txt and said unfortunately hes out of work again and said he wont be for long..and said what he gonna do is to go to child maintenance service so that they can calculate and take it straight from his wages but the thing is if hes out of work,still didnt payed me everything he owned me and the fact he only worked (detail removed by moderator) months last year it seems like i wont get any maintenance and he knew if he wont work a full year then he doesnt have to pay me the child maintenance.He has two other children with other women and the last one was born (detail removed by moderator) ago can someone explain to me how could someone do something like this to your first child?if you cant affort having one child why you still on planning on having more?Did someone had similar situation so they can help me or tell what can i do next or if the is still any chance i can do something so he gonna pay me child maintenance?thank you freesia

  • #85274
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    its a sad fact that abusive men/fathers are notorious for not paying child maintenance. its power and control money wise. he sounds very irresponsible if hes having kids to lots off women and not supporting them. theyre shocking! if you call the CMO and let them know theres a background of dv you wont pay an initial fee that gets waived. they as if you want them to collect the money from him or that he does a bank transfer every month. if he fails to stump up they can put fines on him and eventually take him to court if need be. if however he is self employed or in further education he wont pay anything or maybe a small amount xx you should call them and see what there calculations are. i get a laughable £(detail removed by moderator)! as mothers if we limited our kids to only affording this on them then wow we would be classed as bad parents xx

  • #85283
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    Yes the CM is limited by what it can really do; sounds to me that he knows exactly how to play this, keep his income low this last year so the calculation is next to nothing; that said, its far better to get them to deal with him for you in my expereince, and let it go, I dont get anywhere near half towards what my child needs, buts its a small amount and regualar and means I dont have to deal with him.

    Save all the emails and mss; it’s looking like financial abuse will soon become illegal, they are discussing this matter in parliment atm; something needs to be done about these scumbag dads as at present they do get away with it.

    You cant fight the system alone, accept it’s unfair and take what you can for now. I kept all reciepts one year and did the figures, so I know exactly how short his payments are; if nothing else it makes it clear in my mind, and you never know, this info may come in handy one day.

    I kind of take comfort and pride in knowing that I have raised her without it these days; she will likely find out one day; my grown son asked me if his father ever contributed financially at all when he got into his twenties – his respect and appreciation for mum on knowing this was plain to see – it only left him feeling love and loved and it brought us just that little bit closer x

  • #85288
     freesia 
    Participant

    I hope one day they will eventually do something about it as its not fair on children and the mother too.

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